Are you KIDDING me? This is gardening? Where’s the payoff, people? Show me the flowers! I want Cuba Gooding Jr. to jump up and down in my weedy garden yelling that. That would greatly cheer me.
Now would someone please explain to me how to figure out which ones are weeds?
Continue Reading 25 comments August 10th, 2006
I tried to be a good mother. I offered up a brief but fervent prayer for guidance to the heavens, but Bobby McFerrin intercepted it.
Continue Reading 15 comments August 3rd, 2006
You want him. You want his oil paintings. You can have his oil paintings. You can’t have him. Welcome to Porchlight Paintings!
Continue Reading 21 comments July 31st, 2006
Panic from the kitchen. “SOMETHING’S GOING ON IN HERE! JENN? THERE’S…IT’S…DO YOU KNOW WHAT’S HAPPENING IN HERE?”
“Yes,” I say. “The oven is on. And the stove is on.”
Pause from the kitchen. Then: “And you…I mean…?”
“Yes,” I say. “I know. I turned them on.”
Continue Reading 41 comments July 27th, 2006
When she is not busy turning me into Willem Dafoe, she writes beautiful poetry.
Continue Reading 25 comments July 23rd, 2006
Today’s episode: Another topic as yet unmined by Parenting Magazine.
Continue Reading 34 comments July 21st, 2006
Ty Pennington, as you may have noticed, has not been to my home. I am Miss Cranketta McCrankypants about Ty Pennington. Some of you will be cranky that I am cranky, but you are probably the same ones who say things like “You can’t help who you fall in love with!” Well, you can’t help what makes you cranky and miserable either, so remind me how fortunate I am later in the week.
Continue Reading 63 comments July 19th, 2006
Scoldings, scoldings, everywhere!
Continue Reading 22 comments July 14th, 2006
“I was surprised at how quiet you were. I suppose that’s probably because you didn’t finish the book.”
Continue Reading 23 comments July 11th, 2006
Get it while it's hot and bothered!
