cough cough panic cough

You guys, I am one of those people who says, you guys, especially before bad stuff. You guys! I have to have a chest X-ray in the morning because I can’t breathe and it could be pneumonia! You guys! I have been coughing for two and a half weeks and it’s getting worse, and my lungs hurt and my asthma gets really bad by nighttime and I start heaving and breathing with my shoulders and my back muscles and looking tragic and I get dizzy and panicky! You guys! I am so exhausted! They gave me a breathing treatment with a nebulizer and it made me breathe worse and wheeze worse and cough more, and now I have to have Prednisone and Zythromax and I’m getting panicky all over again because the sun is going down! Vampire pneumonia! Dracula pleurisy!

I said, hey, doctor, it gets worse at night, and he said, well, I don’t understand why it would get worse at night, to which I replied, right, well, I don’t either and I thought you were the guy to ask. No, it’s not my usual primary care physician. The warmth! Is it wrong to want a warm and fuzzy primary care physician to serve me hot tea and hug me and tell me I am not going to suffocate before dawn? Is it? You guys?

P.S. It was my beautiful David’s birthday yesterday. He would like all of you to know he just finished his Jesus year and it was a very exciting year.

36 comments May 17th, 2006