When the student is ready, Google Earth will come

“I told you about Google Earth. Like, four months ago,” says David. He sounds mildly miffed but he is trying to channel his miffiness into his miserable graphic design job on his laptop, so he doesn’t actually look at me.

“I thought it sounded familiar. But I wasn’t ready then. My brain couldn’t handle it until just last night,” I say.

Nearly imperceptible sigh from the den of graphic design despair. “It’s fine.”

“We looked at my mom’s childhood home. We could see the back porch. We could even see the garage my grandfather died in! Do you believe that! We put the cursor on the roof and my mom said, ‘Wow, my dad died right there in that corner of the carage! Right below the cursor thingie!’ Isn’t that amazing?”

“Really? Huh.” My husband is less than impressed with our macabre application of Google Earth. Mom is in town to see the play, but last night I was sick, so she stayed home with me and we spent an hour and a half looking for satellite images of Remote Places, Places Where People Have Died, and Places Where People Are Buried. This pasttime brought to you by Contrary, who freaked us out with her Google Earth screenshot captures of the cemetery where her grandfather is buried.

We didn’t see any scary faces, but Googling Earth made us feel all Alias and espionage-y even though we were sitting on the couch on an apple-juice–stained Polarfleece blanket covered in dog fur and I was coughing wheezy viral strands all over the computer and my poor mother. Why had I waited so long to explore this miraculous and addictive pasttime? Why had I never flown to the Great Wall of China or the Isle of Lewis or Montauk ON MY LAPTOP?

I was seized with the urge to make a collage for you of all of the places that mean something to me, but then it occurred to me that that would be about as original or interesting as telling you about my very favorite beauty products. Which inexplicably I still want to do really badly but Jane Iredale Pure Pressed Base in Warm Silk I know that RJ and Spot the Wonder Dog Jane Iredale Absence would never come back here after a tedious bit like that DHC Cleansing Oil and I really do appreciate my male readership Blistex so I must not be frivolous. This is a serious blog and pointless frivolity and product endorsements will not be tolerated.

I know where you live and I can tilt your world.

24 comments May 6th, 2006