No-sharing zones

I like studies, particularly those nice European ones that say that pregnant women should eat lots of chocolate if they want happy, mellow, endorphin-loaded babies. I don’t know where those studies were when I was pregnant, but hot dang, those are some good studies! Those studies are my homeys! Those studies got my back!

But people keep telling me about some new bad scary studies! Have you heard of these studies? These studies say that siblings who share a room as kids tend to be much closer as adults. Which would suggest that siblings who do not share a room will hate each other for the rest of their lives and spit upon each other’s offspring.

Now, I never shared a room with my brother, and I’m crazy about him. I think my brother is the TOPS, plus he delivers babies, so he is ALL THAT and a BAG OF CHIPS and a HEAD FULL OF APGAR SCORES.

But I never had a sister.

I decided to broach the topic with Sophie. In her room. The room that she does not share with her sister and has no plans of ever sharing with her sister. Believe me, I know it would make a great home office. Don’t think I don’t know it would make a great home office.

Me: What if you and Hattie shared her big room?

Sophie: (firmly) Then she would cry and cry and yell and cry all night and hurt my ears and I wouldn’t be able to sleep. [playing with Calico Critters]

Me: But what if you and Hannah shared a room when she was older and she didn’t cry at night anymore?

Sophie: [still playing with Calico Critters and pretending I do not really exist] Then she would get on my bed and roll around in my bed and knock me out of bed onto the floor and I wouldn’t get any sleep.

Me: But what if you and Hannah shared a room and it was a lot of fun?

Sophie: (immediately) Then we would laugh and laugh and talk all night and I wouldn’t get any sleep and in the morning I would be so tired my head would fall in my cereal.

Me: Your head would fall in your cereal.

Sophie: YES.

Me: Some grownups I know told me that kids like sharing a room and that it might make you feel a lot closer to your sister. I told them I was pretty sure you wouldn’t like that very much.

Sophie: (definitively, forever and ever, amen) NO.

45 comments March 15th, 2006