Tommy Nicky’s Every Food Is Good Cafe

“Did you get that at the coffee shop?” asked Woman #1, pointing to my frappe. “Is that one of those icy blended coffee drinks?”

I nodded.

Woman #2 frowned. She was lean and grumpy. “How many calories does it have?”

Before I could take a guess, Woman #2’s eyes traveled due south, stopping—very disapprovingly—at my rear end. It was not a casual glance. She was making a point.

Continue Reading 9 comments July 10th, 2005

You can borrow a cup of sugar anytime.

I am much more fun in print than I am in person these days. I want to believe this is a temporary state of affairs. But I will always have to go to the supermarket, that den of despair, so I’m not sure there’s hope for me, not really.

Continue Reading 13 comments July 6th, 2005

Guilt, trips. And some haiku.

Admit it. Lately you’ve been thinking, Damn, I really need more haiku in my life, particularly haiku of the family vacation subgenre.

Continue Reading 14 comments July 5th, 2005

Give me the bees, boy

I gots me some stubborn ears. And Sophie’s are getting more stubborn by the day.

Continue Reading 11 comments July 2nd, 2005