Managing Intruder Blobs

So I caught Sophie trying to post this note on the board at Wild Oats the other day. She feigned innocence, but I can tell she knows more than she’s letting on:

So you’re getting a baby brother or sister.

Don’t be a victim of parental misinformation and pro-sibling propaganda. You need the cold, hard facts, and I’ve got ‘em.

Continue Reading 6 comments May 30th, 2005

Ho, ho, no.

My beleaguered friend sighed. “Oh, no. None of us were laughing.”

“You had a grown man in the bathtub with his clothes on, and nobody was laughing?”

“Maybe a little the next morning,” she said. “But not much.”

Continue Reading 5 comments May 27th, 2005

cinnamon buns = death

Forget what you think you know: There’s a variety of Supermom who won’t get the kids anywhere on time. This type of Supermom would rather enjoy a nap or a plate of sushi than attend a Mommy & Me music class. Her car resembles a landfill. At home, cumulus clouds of dog fur waft from room to room. Her career is sputtering and occasionally requires the use of an automatic defibrillator.

However, this breed of Supermom does possess two distinct Superpowers:

Able to leap from one minor event to an overblown conclusion.

Able to scale large gaps in logic with a single bound.

I am clearly of this breed. And I have the proof.

Continue Reading 8 comments May 24th, 2005

Ma’am, put down the poker face.

Let’s face it: We parents are reduced to tears almost as often as our offspring. Our children have us weeping with joy, weeping with worry, weeping with frustration, and weeping with laughter. They slay us daily with I-love-yous and I-hate-yous and everything in between. I’ve heard it said that there’s no cardiovascular workout like parenting. Maybe I said that.

I may never regain my poker face. And you may not either. But at least we’ve found each other. I figure it can’t hurt to swap poker tips. Our kids keep upping the ante, and it’s best to be prepared.

Continue Reading 4 comments May 18th, 2005