The Mater arrives today
August 14th, 2006
At this very moment, several sweaty, strapping young men are loading boxes and furniture into a van in Philadelphia while my mother stands at the kitchen counter hyperventilating beside her cellphone and counting her cash several more times. If she doesn’t have a list on paper, she is definitely going over one in her head. By now, she will already have convinced herself that she’s lost her purse—and her apartment key—at least three times. By dinnertime today, if all goes well, she and her purse and her well-thumbed cash for the movers will be here, and she will have a new apartment key she’ll worry about misplacing.
Not everyone likes the idea of having their mother moving into an apartment three blocks away. There have been odd looks when I’ve mentioned my mom’s move, looks that say, You can have my sympathy if you want it, go on, help yourself.
I think my mama and I have a pretty rare thing going. We got our Stuff out of the way early on. I drive her crazy with my pushy tough love, and she drives me crazy with her sweet dreamy indecisiveness, but it’s a benevolent, warm craziness, and we love each other’s company. I can’t wait to visit her with the girls every day. I can’t wait to string Christmas lights on her new porch. I can’t wait to stop by and have tea with her, for no particular reason at all. We haven’t lived in the same state for 18 years—we’re overdue for a lot of for no particular reason days.
My mother has always been very, very good at being a mama, so much so that I thought it was in the genes, and it would come as easily to me. Not the case. She thinks I am too hard on the girls, which sometimes I think is true. She was the quintessential softie herself, and I could stand to borrow a cup or two of her softserve approach. I never got the impression that Mom wanted to be anywhere else but right there with my brother and me. It’s only now, having two kids myself, that I realize what a tall order that is.
We’ve been cleaning and fixing up her new apartment here, the sunny second floor of an old two-family house built around the turn of the century. I am not surprised that this apartment fell into her lap. I’m pretty sure our resident ghosts, Mrs. Kitchen and Mr. Pipe, are behind that stroke of luck. Last week, doing more sleuthing at the library, I found out that Mr. Pipe and Mrs. Kitchen’s son lived there—on the second floor, my mom’s new apartment—with his wife and their three children.
How about that.
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized, Playdates. (Relationships), Pretty flowers. (Berkshires)
22 Comments
1. Bethany | August 14th, 2006 at 10:38 am
Holy haunted happenings! That is an amazing coincidence. Or not. Gave me butterflies.
I hope the Mater is very happy in her new home!
2. Sarah | August 14th, 2006 at 11:05 am
What a wonderful coincidence that is - or whatever you want to call it! I hope you’re all happy together in the same place, I’m amazed at how quickly this has all come together. Happy moving, Mater
3. Tiff | August 14th, 2006 at 11:17 am
I think that is a delightful coincidence! And how awesome will it be to have your mama not only in the same state but the same zipcode? Congratlutions on having your mama close by…for no reason at all I think it’s the sweetest thing!
4. Sheryl | August 14th, 2006 at 12:12 pm
Um, frankly I think that’s a wee bit creepy. Maybe more than a wee bit. Is son still alive? Anyway, welcome to the mater. I would love having my mom that close too, except Phoenix is to damn hot for any human to live.
5. sogalitno | August 14th, 2006 at 12:21 pm
What synchronicity!
It will be so wonderful for the girls to have their grandmother so close by and for all of you - much good wishes for the getting settled in phase!
and what fun to be able to walk to grandma’s house!
6. Sarah Piazza | August 14th, 2006 at 12:27 pm
You are so lucky to have that kind of relationship with your mom. And I believe that the single most difficult thing about parenting is having your kids feel that there is no place you’d rather be, nothing else that you’d rather be doing, than being with them. I wish I could make my kids feel that. But here’s what I want to know: was your mom one of those rare and amazing moms who truly preferred to be with you guys, or was she just so good at letting you feel as if she did? Either way, what a skill!
7. geogirl | August 14th, 2006 at 1:15 pm
Grandmothers are suppose to be the softies! You guys will be a perfect pair. With that tag team match-up your kids can’t help but turn out great. Oh, and I suppose David might contribute a little something too.
8. mrsderusha | August 14th, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Oh how wonderful! My mother moved from Indiana to be near us in Texas this past year. The shock of realizing that she left some semblance of a life behind has only been overcome by rapid and repeated doses of her grand offspring.
Good Luck and truly enjoy the ‘no particular reason days.’ There’s nothing like them in the whole wide world.
9. KTP | August 14th, 2006 at 2:28 pm
I’m so happy for you and your mother. I aspire to same-state living as well. I look forward to reading the hijinks that will ensue from this move!
10. Deb | August 14th, 2006 at 3:00 pm
It is such a joy to read about a mother daughter relationship that works! I so hope for this with all of my girls. I love my mama too, but she is not the cuddly nurturing have tea type at all and I strive to be that myself.
I am so excited for all of you, this is such a great leap of faith! Your mama rocks and so do you!!
11. J | August 14th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
Wow that’s pretty crazy about the family/house connection. It’s also pretty great you have such a good thing going with your mom. You’re both very very lucky.
12. velocibadgergirl | August 14th, 2006 at 4:17 pm
I cannot wait for the glorious Mater-and-Jenn stories that this will bring
Also, I’m glad to read of someone else who is okay with the idea of living that close to her mom. I actually called and inquired about renting the house next door to my parents last year…out of our price range, but I still harbor secret fantasies of offering to buy it instead if it’s still up for rent when we get ready to buy a place. My husband’s not so sure, but I think I might be able to convince him to see my side of things, in time
13. kirsty | August 14th, 2006 at 5:58 pm
You two seem so much like me and my mother that it’s creepier than Mr Pipe and Mrs Kitchen’s son living in your Mother’s apartment!! I’m so happy for all of you. This will be wonderful, especially for your girls.
14. Rachel | August 14th, 2006 at 7:57 pm
Hooray! I look forward to meeting the Mater, famed in song & story.
(Also, I want to see you! Perhaps in Savoy on Sunday?)
xoxo
15. jbeeky | August 14th, 2006 at 8:40 pm
Just a heads up- I think some of the comments were dropped. I know mine was. So……..okay!
16. lena | August 14th, 2006 at 8:52 pm
I would kill to have my mom live close, so no sympathy here. I feel ya.
Also, I might also kill for the sweaty young men. Does one of them resemble Matthew Fox, do you think? You know, if you had to guess.
17. Rina | August 14th, 2006 at 10:29 pm
Is she bringing one of the sweaty, strapping young men with her?
18. Spot the Wonder Dog | August 14th, 2006 at 11:24 pm
What are they strapping her to?
19. Pendullum | August 15th, 2006 at 9:24 am
Good on you…
It sounds as though this is a great move for your entire family…
It truly sounds dreamy!
So happy for all of you…
20. Andrea S. | August 15th, 2006 at 10:58 am
Hopefully if Kitchen Pipe Jr. is lurking around that apartment, he’s as kind as his parents. Oh the stories that will come out of her living so close to you. Awesome!
And the blog just keeps getting hotter!
21. Vikki | August 16th, 2006 at 4:44 pm
You are lucky to feel the way you do about your mother. I love my mother fiercely but it is more complicated. Isn´t it interesting to reflect on maternal relationships now that you are a mother? O.k. by interesting I mean a little scary
22. Lisa S. | August 16th, 2006 at 8:41 pm
serendipity
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