Spot visits blog, scolds Jenn for lack of participation
July 14th, 2006
Scolding #1: See Mom at Book Group. Resolved.
Scolding #2: See Spot in Last Post’s Comments.
My goodness. You’re as bad as my mother, Spot Dogg. You doodling, scolding blog gangsta. Let’s see you put a bunny in the tank.
Now, now, I have a very good excuse for not posting the past few days. I’ve been trotting all over Northern Berkshire County with my mama, scoping out a new life for her up here. No job yet, but success on the home front: looks like The Mater will be living three blocks away, renting an apartment down the hill until she finds just the right little house to buy. Woo hoo!
Which means she will be doing laundry at our house for the time being. Heck, I’ll do her laundry. This is very very very exciting stuff, you guys! I haven’t lived in the same state as my mother (let alone the same city) since 1988, when I was just a young Philly filly heading off to Grinnell College with a teetering mound of crispy hair on my head.
Scolding #3: See Mom of 2 Brooklyn Babes in Start Spreading the Germs Post Comments.
Goodness gracious. I can’t help who I am! I gots to be me! And me happens to dislike traversing the streets of the Big Wormy Apple with me floppy, whining child in tow!
I grew up in the City of Brotherly Love. There was a campaign to find the next great slogan for the city. One contender was Philadelphia: The City That Loves You Back. The response in the newspaper was an editorial suggesting more appropriate slogans: Philadelphia: The City That Stabs You in the Back and Philadelphia: Watch Your Back.
Car theft, a psychotic Peeping Tom, and the discovery of a near-dead body in our parking space on one of my teenhood birthdays were all part of the urban experience of my formative years in Philly. Add to that several years’ worth of living in NYC:
the theft of my beloved 1986 Toyota (it had been parked between a Lexus and a BMW)
walking the dogs in a patch of glass-strewn park referred to by locals as “The Body Dump,” where one canine had reportedly dragged a bloody human shin bone out of the brush
my husband being punched in the face by a total stranger outside of the dry cleaners across the street
the excruciating personal epiphany: Overheard in New York is 100% authentic
Well. I waved the white flag in 2001. There is only so much a nervous soul can take.
Don’t get me wrong. I think it’s a good thing that there are brave, plucky, germ-defiant urban parents in the world. They are raising future fearsome Survivor: The Savage City competitors, ensuring a continued good living for future reality-TV producers. I am just not one of those plucky urban parents. I like raising pale, phobic, parasite-ridden country children. Somebody has to do it; it might as well be me. I have the wardrobe for it.
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized, Playdates. (Relationships), Pretty flowers. (Berkshires)
22 Comments
1. KTP | July 14th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
Well, as a reality producer, I thank you. What a great idea for me to steal and sell to someone.
2. Vikki | July 14th, 2006 at 1:10 pm
So much scolding…so little time.
3. Imperfect Mommy | July 14th, 2006 at 1:12 pm
A little addition… while I think things are a bit better in Philly now, when we lived there our two suggestions for Philly Mottos were:
“The City of Brotherly Shove”
or
“The City of Broken Glass”
4. Simon | July 14th, 2006 at 1:33 pm
There’s a house just two blocks down the street from mine that my own mother swears she’ll snap up if it ever goes on the market. My mission in life is to prevent her ever from discovering when that happens.
The Mater’s welcome to it, but I’d rather not live that close to my own mother.
5. geogirl | July 14th, 2006 at 2:54 pm
It’s not all peace an love outside the city either. A few years back I lived in a Town house nestled snuggly in the heart of suburbia. Mostly couples and families with small kids. What coud be safer right? One day I came home from work to find my entire parking lot blocked off with police tape and I think every cop car in the county on my front lawn. It seems the nice neighbor lady living next door to me got mad at her drug dealing boyfriend and decided to shoot his head off with a shotgun and then runaway with her OTHER boyfriend. My bedroom was on the side of the house facing them, of course and I spent that night staring up at the ceiling trying not to imagine blood seeping through the wall.
I wish I lived in a place where all I had to worry about was the occasional passing skunk! Congrats on finding a place for the Mater.
6. JustLinda | July 14th, 2006 at 4:05 pm
Teetering mound of crispy hair. HAHAHAHAH
7. bee | July 14th, 2006 at 4:32 pm
And here I was going to scold the Mater for not posting…
8. mom on a wire | July 14th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
At first I thought that said “Philidelphia, the city that loves you black” and I thought, is that the same as once you go black, you never go back? But anyway…
9. Lisa S | July 14th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
Jenn I just so love you girl!
10. (spotted) Contrary | July 14th, 2006 at 8:23 pm
Germs don’t scare me. My kids are fond of quoting me by saying ‘God made dirt and dirt don’t hurt’. However, I’m pretty sure that NYC dirt is different than Texas dirt. Meaner, somehow and with a funny accent.
11. Spot the Wonder Dog | July 15th, 2006 at 1:00 am
…………..(\ /)
BUNNY__( . .)__
TANK (________])D====[| X{BOOM>================== D
[_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|\…………………….……….__.,._ .(\__/)
\O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O/……………………… (”)_(”).(+’.'+) RIP, Bunny.
12. Spot the Wonder Dog | July 15th, 2006 at 1:01 am
Board needs an Edit feature…
13. Kathleen Marie | July 15th, 2006 at 1:34 pm
How fortunate you are to live near your mum! We moved 7 hours away from my mother-in-law who is a rock, helped me raise my kids and writes me several times a week. My own Mum lives 14 hours away and I miss her a lot at times. She is a fabulous lady. You are very fortunate.
14. Deb | July 17th, 2006 at 11:51 am
Scoldings remind me of my grandmother….
Can’t we all just get along????
sighs*
Love means never getting scoldings! or germs from public transportation! Love conquers even NYC germs and bugs!
15. R J Keefe | July 17th, 2006 at 12:42 pm
Do I see a lot of free babysitting in the near future?
“We want to stay at Grandma’s house! It’s not haunted.”
16. Charlie | July 17th, 2006 at 3:03 pm
Spot is just making sure we are getting what we have to come to expect. Hip, cool, blogging. And this site too.
17. Lou | July 17th, 2006 at 6:38 pm
awww- I don’t think I’ll ever live in the same town (heck, STATE, hell, region!) as my family ever again.
Lucky
18. the Mater | July 17th, 2006 at 6:58 pm
Per RJK, “Do I see a lot of free babysitting in the near future?
‘We want to stay at Grandma’s house! It’s not haunted.’ ”
Actually, there is a bit of a connection to Jenn’s ghosts …
This apartment was built on the foundations of the old mill-workers’ houses from last century and some of the Richmonds were residents in old #6 … which seems to be my door. I’ll keep everyone informed once I move in!
19. Mari | July 17th, 2006 at 9:14 pm
Wow, free shards of glass in a park and free punches, you say? Where do I sign up for that?!
20. kt flynnie | July 18th, 2006 at 9:44 am
wow i feel so sheltered in w.mass. oh and im totally going to scold you for lack of posts this month
21. tina | July 18th, 2006 at 2:29 pm
http://www.statefarm.com/insuranc/auto/nicbcars/grndthft.htm
jenn, the top ten cars that get stolen. they are like all honda civics, no luxury mobiles, it’s so odd. see? the weirdest things make me think of you.
22. Debby | July 18th, 2006 at 10:46 pm
I just moved from NY to a little town in Iowa, the only thing I’m scared of now are the tractors. Damn they are big!! Oh yeah, and my father-in-law. The list of topics we can’t discuss gets longer every day. It’s a republican stronghold here and I’m just trying to keep a low profile so they don’t burn me in effigy in the town square. LOL
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