Mother attends daughter’s book group, scolds daughter for lack of participation
July 11th, 2006
I took my mother to my book group meeting last night. The Mater is in town scoping out a new life for herself—she’s moving here in a few months—and I thought it would be fun for her to meet some of my favorite ladies.
Within two minutes of our arrival at the host’s house, Ma was working the crowd, pumping hands, saying things like, “THAT’S RIGHT! TWENTY YEARS WORKING IN CONTINUING EDUCATION! THERE MUST BE A JOB UP HERE FOR ME SOMEWHERE!”
Within four minutes of our arrival, she had cornered one of the women—a pediatrician—and was saying, “You know, I’m moving up here in two months…AND I DON’T HAVE A JOB YET! OR ANY HEALTH CARE! MAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME WITH THAT!”
At which point I quickly herded her to the refreshments table.
It was a lovely meeting—our very first plein air meeting, around a backyard firepit. Our host had thoughtfully provided s’mores fixings, so spirits were high and the liquid marshmallow was flowing. My mother selected a seat across the circle from me, beside our nice pediatrician friend.
I feared for the friend, but The Mater’s Catholic school background kicked in as we started in with the meeting. Mom sat up very straight and was listening intently to the discussion. She had read some of the book (The Devil in the White City, historical nonfiction about the 1893 World’s Fair in Chicago), and seemed to really be enjoying herself.
It may have been a combination of the s’mores and the interesting reading material, but the discussion went longer than most of our usual meetings, winding down only after the strong smell of wandering skunk wafted into the backyard.
My mom and I headed for the car. We watched a group of the book club gals start off on their walk back home.
“It’s like a sorority! So Midwest! So college!” said The Mater, smiling into the warm green summer evening.
“I know! So wholesome!” I said, feeling very pleased with life and happy to have shared a part of it with her.
We admired the reddish full moon, took one last whiff of Berkshire skunk, and climbed into Mom’s car.
She started the ignition. “I was surprised at how quiet you were. I suppose that’s probably because you didn’t finish the book. Do you contribute?”
“Did you just ask me if I CONTRIBUTE?”
“You didn’t say very much.”
“Do I contribute? Of course I contribute.”
“Well, I was very surprised. I kept waiting for you to say something.”
“I like listening. I learn a lot by listening,” I said. “Are you actually chastising me for not speaking up at my book group?”
“Well, you were giggling over there on the bench while people were talking about the book,” she said. “If I did that, you’d say, MOTH-ER.”
“It’s a BOOK GROUP. It’s not a GRADUATE-LEVEL SEMINAR.”
“Well, I don’t know. You were certainly laughing over there with Pam.”
“Pam makes me laugh. I’m allowed to laugh at book group.”
“Well. I’m just saying.”
“I’m allowed. Laughing is allowed.”
“All right.”
But protest is futile. You know it is.
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized, Playdates. (Relationships)
23 Comments
1. The Mater | July 11th, 2006 at 1:44 pm
Just can’t get any r-e-s-p-e-c-t … the truth is, to my embarrassment (and amusement) … it happened exactly as Jenn reported.
I must learn to stifle it.
Having a wonderful week and if this is a taste of days to come, I think all will be well.
2. Spot the Wonder Dog | July 11th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Careful Jenn. Up to 20% of your grade will be based on classroom participation.
3. Tina R. | July 11th, 2006 at 2:52 pm
Oh, Mater. You’re just taking t-c-b* up there.
That is hilarious.
*For those who are like, -huh?, that’s that little thing that Aretha is saying later in the song that nobody ever can figure out. And by nobody I mean me, for the longest time. “Taking Care of Business.” And now I hate that I know, because she says “taking TCB” which is of course taking taking care of business, which is a grammatical nightmare.
ANYWAY. That is classic, Mater and Jenn.
4. Simon | July 11th, 2006 at 3:11 pm
The Mater learning to stifle it smacks of David turning pompous; or Sophie growing into a demure young lady; or Hattie reneging on her contract with Satan or…
… or Jenn ever baking cinnamon buns.
5. velocibadgergirl | July 11th, 2006 at 3:20 pm
See, you haven’t even moved up there yet and the stories are already starting.
It’s going to be a GREAT fall season
(Sorry, Jenn, if it’s at your expense 
)
6. Eileen | July 11th, 2006 at 4:14 pm
You can’t escape it.
When your mom is 80 and you are a comfortable grandma, she is *still* going to be your MOM, and helpfully tell you what you could have done better.
(When my grandmother was crushed beneath a car, she lay in the hospital on breath support, ribs shattered and lungs punctured; when her loving family gathered round and my mom leaned over and held her hand and asked if there was anything they could get for her, she gestured for a paper and wrote out “there is chili in the fridge, & ice cream”… my mom understood that this was partly due to grandma’s need to nurture all her babies & grandbabies & great-grandbaby, and partly due to some doubt that *she* could be counted on to do so. Moms are your mom FOREVER…)
7. Deb | July 11th, 2006 at 5:44 pm
A classic mother daughter moment….
You will do the same thing to your girls, Jenn….its genetic….
8. geogirl | July 11th, 2006 at 8:42 pm
I feel so proud. I recommended that book to the mater.
Soooooo…….she never finished it…..humph!!!
9. Rina | July 11th, 2006 at 9:56 pm
Thank God I read the whole thing - after reading the teaser I thought perhaps you had attended Sophie’s Book Group and chastised HER.
10. Debby | July 11th, 2006 at 10:48 pm
I think Mater read the crib notes!! LMAO
This move is going to make for some great reading material (no pun intended)!
11. Robin | July 12th, 2006 at 9:12 am
Hi Jen!
I was thinking about the Mater’s move. Please let her know that we are just an hour away from the five colleges. Smith, in particular, has a strong non-traditional student program. Albany has a few good schools to look as well. There’s also BCC. So, she has more than just a couple of options in the area.
-Robin
12. Mom101 | July 12th, 2006 at 12:45 pm
Ijust love that you go to book club with your mom. That’s too cool. I’ve done similar with my mom but it’s more the other way around - she has to tell me to shut up.
13. Mommy off the Record | July 12th, 2006 at 2:22 pm
My mother would probably just be proud that I was reading something. LOL
14. Amy | July 12th, 2006 at 4:21 pm
Hi - I know this sounds crazy, but I just moved to the area and am looking for a book club - is yours looking for new members? I’m a good book club member and can produce references if need be. I promise to contribute only when prompted by your mother to do so
15. Kathleen Marie | July 13th, 2006 at 2:38 pm
Your mother and my mother sound way too much alike. Are we related? Ha! I do wish I could find a good book club around here, but alas, I am stranded. I am sure my mother would say I should start one… I should. I know I should. Sigh.
16. Kathryn, DYM | July 13th, 2006 at 4:49 pm
Oh, man. That is too funny. Laughing at bookclub is so totally not allowed, especially for a slacker who contributes nothing. Duh!
17. Spot the Wonder Dog | July 14th, 2006 at 10:09 am
*snore*
Too long between posts. Time for more doodling…
Cat:
／l、
（ﾟ､ ｡ ７ - omg touch me.
l、 ~ヽ
じしf_, )ノ
Rabbit 2:
(\__/)
(O.o )
(> = D
[_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|\
\O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O/
18. Spot the Wonder Dog | July 14th, 2006 at 10:14 am
BAH!!!! Stupid stupid comment log with it’s lame coding for “greater than” and “less than” symbols…
Here, have an owl:
{o,o}
|)__)
-”-”-
O RLY?
And another bunny…
(\ /)
( . .)
c('’)('’)
And another try at the tank….
TANK __[==]___
____ (________])D======[| X{BOOM))== D
[_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|_|\
\O_O_O_O_O_O_O_O/
19. Spot the Wonder Dog | July 14th, 2006 at 10:17 am
meh… they look better with less space between lines…
You need a comment board that works more like a forum w.r.t. html recognition. Tell iBerkshires to stop being such cheapos and spring for a better blog hosting program.
20. Coley | July 15th, 2006 at 3:58 pm
ROTFL.
Oh to be there with you both!!!
21. lqsuzcws&hellip | July 21st, 2006 at 3:36 pm
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22. Pamela | August 2nd, 2006 at 5:04 pm
If I was both laughing and contributing, is that okay????
Pam (”the trouble maker)
23. the Mater | August 7th, 2006 at 3:33 pm
Pam, I’m gonna have to keep my eye on you once I move up there :>)
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