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The best birthday present ever

June 23rd, 2006

Thank you for all the lovely birthday wishes! First off, I should clarify that I did not make the birthday pancakes, because I do not know how to make pancakes. Mrs. Kitchen probably would have lent a hand if I had attempted to make pancakes (gentle nudges toward the butter and spatula, ghostly fingers turning the heat down to low from CRISPY FLAMING EYELASH-SCORCHING YOU-DON’T-COOK-MUCH-DO-YOU HOT).

Instead I bundled both girls into the car and headed for the nearest diner.

Secondly, yes, June 22nd is the longest day of the year. Both of my children had shrieking fits before we even got to the diner. Yesterday officially became the longest day of the year by 8:13 AM. Earth science is fabulous!

Thirdly, I am very disappointed to report that neither Meryl Streep nor Kris Kristofferson phoned to say happy birthday on our shared special day. Bill Blass did not phone either, but at least he sent a card and dedicated a whole new size to me, a Flex-size that goes from 10 to 14 as needed but always looks like an 8 on.

But I am okay because my husband and my daughters gave a Swedish mailbox. Now I am going to bleach my hair and get blue contact lenses and skis and call myself Elsa-Lena-Annika and rename the blog Breeden Ahndja Weepja. If you are a female reader, you will soon develop a strong dislike for my blog and stop reading altogether. If you are a male reader, however, you will soon want to make vigorous, athletic love to my blog.

If you haven’t already.

Change is good! Sweden is good! Vivja Svenska!

Entry Filed under: Uncategorized, Playdates. (Relationships), Scribbles. (Writing & Art)

33 Comments

  • 1. Mir  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 3:15 pm

    And… *almost afraid to ask* what of the cranberry storm door???

  • 2. Jenn  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 3:20 pm

    No worries! The Mater is proceeding with cranberry door! And David is painting the front porch for me! I am using a lot of exclamation marks! I am in curb-appeal nirvana!

  • 3. Charlie  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 3:47 pm

    Underbar! kraftig athletic karlek…..damn umlaut button…can’t find it when you need it. Oh well. Elsa-Lena-Annika is a lovely name.
    So how long did you sat it would take for the ladies to leave? I am brushing up on my conversational Swedish.

  • 4. karina  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 4:27 pm

    You mean the Big Mouth Billy Bass I gave you a few years ago wasn’t the best present ever? Hmmmph. ;-)

  • 5. Heather  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 4:36 pm

    Jenn,

    I LOVE your blog!

    What happened to your knees? Did Mrs. Kitchen push you down?

  • 6. Vikki  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 4:38 pm

    You shouldn’t have to make your own birthday pancakes! Of course, if you ever need to make birthday pancakes for someone else - Mrs. Kitchen may be too busy to help but you can always ask Hungry Jack : )

    I did exclaim, “What about the cranberry storm door?” when I saw the mailbox. Not that it isn’t a lovely mailbox…

    I’m glad to hear that the door is still in the works!

  • 7. the Mater  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 4:39 pm

    Er, you sure it’s a Swedish mail box? You don’t know anyone in Sweden - what will happen to all your domestic mail? hehehehe

    If it were a Norwegian mail box, then you could hang it up next to the door-to-come and regale us all with “I remember Mater” stories … (only folks here who will probably get that are my generation).

    The bright blue is beautiful but isn’t it going to clash with the cranberry screen door? There was a nice blue door I seem to recall on one of the display pages …

    I shall bow out gracefully at this point and let you stay happy and contented.

    Just one more thing … didn’t I ever teach you how to make pancakes?!! It’s on the back of the box :>)

  • 8. Simon  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 5:13 pm

    Come to my house, Jenn, for fabulous pancakes! I make them from scratch via the recipe handed down to me from my grandmother. (I’m serious about that bit. And also about the first bit, though it’s highly unlikely.)

    But if you do make it, please be like the postman and ring twice; odds are good I’ll be occupied with vigourous, athletic love-making to your blog.

  • 9. mamatulip  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 7:47 pm

    Crap, my secret is out…I’ve always wanted to make athletic love to your blog.

  • 10. the Mater  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 7:59 pm

    It’s the question that must be asked: how the heck do you make athletic love to a blog?! You don’t need a Kegelcisor, do ya?

    I guess it’s like kissing the TV screen when you were a kid and loving somebody on the telly …

    TGIF … I need to go into my happy place right now and calm down.

  • 11. ChristyD  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 8:34 pm

    Love the Swedish mailbox. Happy birthday!

  • 12. geogirl  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 8:37 pm

    Oh Jenn…it will take more than half naked, swedish mailbox bimbos to make me hate your blog.

    Although the Swiss in me is slightly offended, but I’ll get over it.

  • 13. roo  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 10:14 pm

    The Swedes have blue boxes? No wonder they’re so happy to make athletic love when they finally get a chance…

  • 14. robin  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 11:24 pm

    it’s not often i get to see my mom’s name (lena) and my middle name (annika) in one post!

  • 15. Margaret  |  June 23rd, 2006 at 11:31 pm

    It’s a good thing you can’t make regular old pancakes. Now that you’ve got a Swedish mailbox you can start making Ugnspannkaka. Yum!

  • 16. samantha  |  June 24th, 2006 at 12:16 am

    WAHOO! Check that ‘Sweedish unnecessary necessity’ off your to-do list before you die.

    And I am also concerned about your knees. Should they have gotten you knee-pads instead?

  • 17. Spot the Wonder Dog  |  June 24th, 2006 at 12:49 am

    So many people commenting about your knees… to be honest I’m more concerned about your thighs.

    They’re so pasty and white. You don’t have some kind of circulation problem or something do you? I mean, those could be zombie legs. If I didn’t know better I’d suspect you were a vampire or something.

    …you’re not one, right? I know your house is haunted and spooky and all… but when you send the kids to “Day Care” you aren’t sleeping in a coffin or anything, are you?

    :P

  • 18. Barb  |  June 24th, 2006 at 7:41 am

    Dear Elsa,
    Please , Don’t bundle up your kids, its 100 degrees out!
    And I will be watching the necks on your girls too!

  • 19. Mom101  |  June 24th, 2006 at 1:28 pm

    If this means you get to sleep with the Swedish World Cup soccer team, I will be totally jealous. I just caught a glimpse of them and holy heidi, there’s some fine Scandinavian meat there!

    Glad it was a great birthday.

  • 20. Elizabeth  |  June 24th, 2006 at 10:39 pm

    Glad you had a great birthday! If you feel motivated to try making pancakes, I have a tip-use boxed pancake mix, and then add a little sugar and cinnamon and maybe a drop of vanilla to it. Makes the pancakes extra good.

    And I’m not your Mom’s generation, but I totally got her “I Remember Mama” reference!

  • 21. bee  |  June 24th, 2006 at 10:44 pm

    Jenn, you are so cute!

  • 22. nolamom  |  June 24th, 2006 at 11:16 pm

    Your mailbox is great, and your cranberry storm door is going to be beautiful too. Glad your birthday was nice.
    Mater, I know the movie you are talking about “I remember Mama” I love the part where the old guy teaches the little boy the curse word, for when his leg hurts. Great movie.
    Love this site!

  • 23. Ren275  |  June 25th, 2006 at 8:16 am

    Jen, I am SURE you can find a polish mailbox in a nice shape of a egg - ha ha!!

  • 24. bee  |  June 25th, 2006 at 8:45 am

    I remember once a Polish liscense plate, the false kind that goes on the front when you only are required to have one tag. It said “It’s exciting to be Polish” and was hung up-side-down. That was awesome, and I hope I never forget it!

  • 25. the Mater  |  June 25th, 2006 at 9:06 am

    Enough with the Polish jokes already. Jeez, just can’t get no respect …

  • 26. Her Bad Mother  |  June 25th, 2006 at 10:06 am

    I demand to know about the knees too. Because, um, the imagination, she runs wild… especially with all the Swedish athletic love talk…

  • 27. Renee  |  June 25th, 2006 at 12:40 pm

    We same mailbox in red.
    Like the blue too.

  • 28. ChristyD  |  June 25th, 2006 at 6:33 pm

    Jenn, My knees look just like yours, and one of my kids’ friends, who is about three inches taller than my knees, asked me recently what happened to me. I told her it was from scrubbing the floors in my kitchen, which sadly is the truth.

  • 29. JenfromBoston  |  June 25th, 2006 at 9:25 pm

    You look like you’re 20 here. I am not kidding.

    apparently awesome birthday presents agree with you (and your complexion.

    funny to see you and hattie with almost the same expression. damn cute.

    Happy birthday, Jenn!

  • 30. Spot the Wonder Dog  |  June 26th, 2006 at 11:53 am

    “You look like you’re 20 here. I am not kidding. ”

    *snerk*

    .>

    ^_^
    BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

  • 31. Becky  |  June 27th, 2006 at 11:47 am

    Jenn, Happy Belated Birthday and thanks for all the laughs!

  • 32. Lianne  |  June 29th, 2006 at 4:10 pm

    Now you just have to go to Hanna Andersson.com and get you some Swedish duds.

    Ya sure Yabetcha!

    Love the mailbox… check out some of Carl Larsson’s prints and you’ll see how cool the Swedes are!

    Carl Larsson prints

  • 33. Raehan  |  July 5th, 2006 at 5:28 pm

    Happy Birthday!

    I loved this post. Your legs are quite pretty.

    I also love the way your Mom is a kind of sidekick here, very cool.

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