47 Comments

• 1. Bethany  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 11:01 am

  Ah, really..how good could a weekly massage appointment be?

  Ok, it would be pretty good I admit.

  From someone who also has broken windows and bad flooring and is clothing herself and her children in second hand clothes I see where you’re coming from. (And I also have no 401K OR college savings plan.)

  But you are blessed and maybe that’s what “the other side” of your 30s will show you.

  Or maybe that psychic was a hack and in the second half of your 30s you’ll strike gold.

  Happy Almost Birthday!

• 2. sogalitno  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 1:24 pm

  money - they say- isnt everything… and i for one agree.

  you have (as you said) a wonderful loving husband, two smart, healthy, beautiful daughters and a house (whatever state) and a supportive family and many friends and a good community to raise your family.

  as a single woman i would give up my small measly 401k and my small savings for what you have in a red hot second.

  yes, its hard to be on the lower end of the earnings scale but would you and/or your husband be HAPPY working in corporate america? making lots of money but dealing with the misery and tradeoffs of the atmosphere and politics, etc?

  as one who tried it after being a fulltime musician, let me tell you its sucks.big.time. any artist worth their salt is stymied, shut down and see their soul slowly killed in the environment that exists in today’s corporate america. and you dont EVEN want to know about the kind of people who populate it. trust.me.

  your children will remember YOU and the good times - they dont know about martha stewart etc. thats all the rampant consumerism that is taking over the consciousness of the nation. they want to be with YOU and with your intelligence and creativity - there are lots of wonderful things yall can do. and they dont take tons of money. believe me spending time with them every day, being interested in their lives at school, helping them grow and develop into independent, inquisitive, creative, caring and moral beings is worth more than a roomful of fao toys and bebe clothes.

  yes, i am being harsh and sound like a preacher - count your blessings which are many.

  and we will all support your book(s), plays, etc and whatever else we can to help you and your family. you are blessed.

  as for the age thing…. many of us who are older will tell you that 35 is a great age - do you really want to be 25 again?

  enjoy these next 10 years with your daughters! you are at your prime and in 10 years when they are gone you will still have many many years ahead of you.

  all the above written in true friendship and care. (really)

• 3. Mir  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 2:00 pm

  I wish I could offer something more useful and less self-pitying than “Hey, at least you have a mate.” I’ll keep working on it.

  But yeah. I hear ya. Sheesh, I don’t even want to be rich. I’d just like to stop crying over the bills.

• 4. KeriS  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 2:22 pm

  Jenn, I know that it these words are kind of empty at moments like this, but rich in spirit IS better than rich in material goods. I work at a school with kids from the wealthiest families in town… and let me tell you that I KNOW which students are on scholarship. Not because of the clothes they wear (we wear uniforms) or the cars they drive (I never see them, I get to work much earlier than they do), but because of their character. Now, I am not saying that rich people cannot have strong character… but I am saying that the attitude of entitlement that seems to surround money is horrifying, and I would rather spend my time with the poor kids with strong character any day. For that matter, I would rather my children marry the poor kids with the strong character, too.

  I guess if only we could have both… And I do know a few people like that. But not many.

  And, there is nobody waiting to skewer you when you turn 36. I’ve been 36 for nearly 6 months, and it has continued to be a great year for my family. Happy almost birthday.

• 5. Simon  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 2:50 pm

  Between David in his Jesus year and you about to get skewered, you guys are right on track for a crucifixion!

  Hollow, empty and totally non-redeemable-at-your-local-Wal-Mart sentiments are flowing like a river. But they’re sincere.

• 6. the Mater  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 3:26 pm

  It’s so hard to read your words, Jenn, and know that I can’t make it better.

  Love that man of yours - you are a couple who deserves to grow old together. Yes, there’s that. And women are just peaking in their late 30s and early 40s when it comes to sex. Yes, there’s that. The girls are so adorable and bright. Yes, there’s that. The puppers and ghosts add excitement. Yes, there’s that.

  Living hand to mouth through the lean years. Yes, there’s that. Worrying about financial security. Yes, there’s that (for both of us).

  You have surrounded yourself with good and caring friends. Yes, there’s that. Your readers also love you. Yes, there’s that.

  Don’t, please don’t believe the tarot-card reader. I think Tree may have a more hopeful sense of where you are going.
  Yes, there’s that.

  And you’re getting a new cranberry storm door for your 36th birthday from me! Yes, there’s that.

  I love you so much, sweet pea! Mom xxoo

• 7. geogirl  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 5:42 pm

  Honestly, I would really like to find the guy who first said “Money can’t buy you happiness” and give him a swift punch in the throat! Or maybe I’ll stick that clown with a skewer on him.

  Yes, money cannot buy you true friendship or true love, that is a universal truth. But it CAN buy you security and that would certainly help anyone in the happiness department quite a bit I think.

  Still, there are more important things in this life Jenn and you seem to have found them: A great husband, cute kids and amazing talent.

  Hell, I think I would sell my left kidney to find a nice guy who cooks. I really would. Um….you guys wouldn’t happen to need a kidney would you?

• 8. the Mater  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 5:49 pm

  So true, Geo.

  “Money can’t buy you happiness” but it can give peace of mind and the freedom to be able to do the things you really love which, in the end, may lead to a certain quality of life that allows more enjoyment and satisfaction and happiness.

  Holy Hannah, am I Queen of the Run-on Sentence or what?! I got out of breath just reading that last paragraph out loud.

• 9. Spot the Wonder Dog  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 8:03 pm

  Yes, but look at all the things you have that money can’t buy! Things like… floppy breasts! A computer with a slight odor of dog poo! …and a ghost who watches you while you’re using the bathroom!

  I guarantee Bill Gates has none of these.

• 10. carole  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 8:13 pm

  whoa.. I could have written this. Except my boobs aren’t big enough to be floppy.
  That and I have almost 5 weeks before I slide into 36.

• 11. kris  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 9:39 pm

  No, no, NO! The thirties must only improve us!

  And if they don’t, lie to me.

• 12. ELizabeth  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 10:06 pm

  Mater is buying you the cranberry storm door for your birthday??!! Aww, Jenn, your Mater LOVES you!!

• 13. jbeeky  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 10:44 pm

  Happy Birthday Jenn, I wish you a year of financial windfalls and excess in all other areas of your life. The card reader may have said, “You will never be a bitch, but you already know that.” Doesn’t that sound right now that you think of it? I knew it.
  Jill

• 14. moxiemomma  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 11:38 pm

  the mater is always making me cry!

  (as are the bills, the broken upstairs bathroom, and oh yeah, the bricks that seem to be falling out of the chimney and, um, i just can’t even deal with that last one–i mean, bricks aren’t supposed to fall out of chimneys, are they?)

  congrats on the upcoming acquisition of a cranberry storm door!

• 15. margalit  |  June 4th, 2006 at 12:35 am

  Oh Jenn, I’m SO there with you. Being poor in MA is hard, girl. It’s just plain difficult and degrading and at times so freaking depressing that I can’t believe I get up in the morning and keep on going. Money might not buy happieness, but it buys financial security, the ability to pay your bills on time without lying to the various utilitiy companies, and most of all the ability not to have to beg the schools for free llunch and free field trip money. It’s so degrading and embarassing, especially when you live, as I do, in a very wealthy town where you always feel alone in your poverty. Except that the MCAS results show that amost 20% of the school population is right there with you.

  Remember this, Harvard is FREE for those kids from homes like ours. That’s what keeps me going week after week.

  I have a ton of girls clothing in my attic because we don’t have a used clothing store here anymore. It’s yours if you want it. Top quality stuff, even jackets and coats. Just let me know.

• 16. Another Jen  |  June 4th, 2006 at 2:08 am

  Dude… you’re getting the CRANBERRY STORM DOOR!!!! That’s awesome.

  Will The Mater be MY mater, too?

• 17. Contrary  |  June 4th, 2006 at 10:28 am

  I share AJ’s excitement over the DOOR. It’s like the friggin’ Holy Grail..only it’s a door and it would be awkward to drink from. But otherwise, they’re totally the same.

  Coming from someone who is also on the shady side of 35, I have to say, I like the shade. It’s not a bad place to be. I for sure wouldn’t be 20 again. Yech.

• 18. Lisa H  |  June 4th, 2006 at 11:01 am

  I’m right there with ya, sweetie (except I just hovered my way into my thirties– the skewers! AIE!)

• 19. nolamom  |  June 4th, 2006 at 12:00 pm

  Jenn,
  I can relate to how you feel about never being rich, sometimes we think we are poorer than when we first got married. I wonder how we are going to pay our bills every month and save for our girls to go to college. There are days I feel so guilty, because my husband works, and I don’t, and then I realize, I get to be home with my girls all day, and watch them blossom into wonderful individuals, and one day when they “fly from the nest” I’ll be so glad that I had the privilege of being with them everyday. We may not be rich, but we sure as hell are happy, and to us, that means so much more than money. I love BEAW and look forward to new posts all the time, because, like me, you are a mom that loves her girls and that is awesome! As you turn 36, chin up, and look age in the face without fear or worry, we are moms, strong and beautiful. The old saying, “the hand that rocks the cradle, rules the world” it is true, never forget it.

• 20. the Mater  |  June 4th, 2006 at 12:25 pm

  You guys are so supportive of my daughter, now swimming upstream and falling through metaphorical safety nets.

  Nm, I’m glad you’re telling her to keep her “chin up”! I didn’t have the heart to tell her that “chin up” will probably require a nip and tuck in another ten years or so.

  A joke, Jenn, a joke! Smiles firm up the facial muscles well - this is another reason to keep smiling through all the crap that Life throws at you. It tones the muscles.

  Hugs and get back to me about the door!

• 21. ChristyD  |  June 4th, 2006 at 3:06 pm

  I wish we could switch places for a week. I love my husband and kids, but we live in a community that is full of cheap, large houses and lots of SUVs. People here are addicted to their money, and there is a lot of it here. I miss living in a smal ltown where people know you by name, and art is important to folks. We need more of you in Texas, Jenn! Your post really has me thinking about what I need to change in my own life. Just know that you are a huge inspiration to me because you live a genuine, from-the-heart life.

• 22. Dawn  |  June 4th, 2006 at 8:15 pm

  But we get to check the 36-45 box now. And that’s fun, right?

• 23. the Mater  |  June 4th, 2006 at 8:46 pm

  More fun than the 60+ :>)

  “Don’t worry about middle age: you’ll outgrow it.” Laurence J. Peter

• 24. veronica  |  June 4th, 2006 at 10:34 pm

  Happy Birthday to you. Lemme quote my parents’ note on my last birthday card: “To say you have enriched our lives would be a gross understatement. You have made us fabulously wealthy in the things that count longest and most!”

  Even better than being rich: bringing richness to the lives of others. And you do that in spades.

• 25. mom on a wire  |  June 5th, 2006 at 12:02 am

  Um, but could you just CHECK for that clown and let me know? Clowns kind of scare the pee out of me, and now that I’m picturing him hunkering down on a big number 36 my world has just gotten a little more frightening.

• 26. Wendy Boucher  |  June 5th, 2006 at 10:41 am

  I’m 43. I whupped that clown’s ass several years ago so you have nothing to worry about. I took one for the team - Team Mom.

• 27. Vikki  |  June 5th, 2006 at 10:50 am

  Once you turn 36, you are no longer in your “mid 30’s”. Yes, you move into the “late 30’s”. The good news is that you will survive. I am 37 and have lived to tell the tale…

  These days, I am trying to focus on changing the way I look at success. Love, relationships, family and meaningful work are all part of that.

• 28. karina  |  June 5th, 2006 at 11:00 am

  I strongly disagree, Vikki–”mid 30s” last until you’re 39. (If you can’t fight age, you may as well just deny it.)

  Thanks for the image of the bloodied dead livestock, Jenn. Now whenever I see rich people, I’ll imagine them as blood-soaked evil beings who have slaughtered cute piggies and sheep and cows in order to achieve their successes. It’s always nice to find one way to feel superior to people whose worldly possessions you envy!

• 29. Lisa S.  |  June 5th, 2006 at 11:43 am

  Jen….I have found the MOST wonderful time of my life has been the last 10 years. Yes…from 34 to 44! So get ready for some good times honey. We are in our 40’s and 50’s at our house and we aren’t much better off financially! We have kids finishing college, some debt, a leak in basement foundation, a deck that needs to be stained and repaired, a basement full of crap, a house that needs to be cleaned out and RE-DONE, we both work our butts off at jobs that don’t pay well and I know for a fact that my husband quite often feels like you do. What do we have to show for all of this?

  Just recently….. Finally….. I’ve realized that it’s not the destination but the JOURNEY my friend. It’s the journey of life that makes it all okay. I know this won’t give you $100 extra bucks in your pocket but try to remember…..it’s the journey. Your journey, your families journey…..ultimately….

  your blessing.

• 30. kris  |  June 5th, 2006 at 11:52 am

  Oh, so what they DON’T tell you is this: The clown, waiting for you, under the hole in that 30’s net… he’s not very bright. In fact, he’s also, not very fast… and he’s got a bit of a spare tire, as he’s also on the long-side of thirty… so, I say, kick him in the teeth and keep walkin’ with your head held high. 36 really isn’t so bad. I promise.

  For someone as spritely as yourself, you probably wouldn’t even notice if your whole family wasn’t there, holding an “over-the-hill cake” and some of those black balloons. I swear to you, dear lady, it’s “no biggie”.

• 31. pharmgirl  |  June 5th, 2006 at 12:09 pm

  We are children of a benevolent God.
  (pendulent breasts not withstanding…)

  You just have to trust.

  As for the birthday…it truly is just a number. I’m 43 and still way cool.

• 32. Ana  |  June 5th, 2006 at 12:14 pm

  Ah, the sweet aroma o’ government cheese- I know it well.

  Anyone who says “Money doesn’t matter” has never been poor. And by poor I mean you’re really thankful that your cat will eat the same 10 cent ramen noodles you have to. It’s kind of hard to relax and enjoy your non-material blessings when you’re at that point!

• 33. Diana  |  June 5th, 2006 at 12:55 pm

  You’re getting a cranberry storm door for your birthday. That’s exciting. I’m sorry about all the other stuff, but I haven’t figured out how to make it better for myself, so I will offer you no advice. Stop going to the stupid psychics (except for Tree) because they are obviously not giving you good readings. You will be rich, your plays will end up on Broadway, you will make lots and lots of money.

• 34. the Mater  |  June 5th, 2006 at 12:56 pm

  Hey Jenn, if the 60s are now the “new 40s”, then that makes you and your friends teenagers!

  Turn Bozo into a kick-me-clown and send him to another circus, along with the tarot-card reader. They can set up their own tent.

  Your readers’ comments contain some beautiful and heartfelt thoughts. I liked the reminder that all of life is a journey and our final destination may not matter so much as the paths we take along the way. From what I’ve read here, you’ve got some great companions on the journey.

• 35. Deb  |  June 5th, 2006 at 1:10 pm

  You are closer to 40 now!

  Well it’s nice to know my kids aren’t the only ones who will have to beg borrow and steal to go to college.

  My husband and I are terrifed we will end up homeless in our old age because we can’t buy a house and we have no retirement and will be forced to work at McDonalds.

  I just read this great article in our local paper about this awesome woman in her 70’s who writes books and snow camps and looks like a body builder. She was way inspiring, so HEY! We have time to turn things around!

  Don’t believe the Tarot card woman…..Money is energy….open the floodgates and let it in! (pssst….When you find those floodgates, could you call me ?)

• 36. corymack  |  June 5th, 2006 at 1:51 pm

  http://www.fastcompany.com/online/68/richlife.html

• 37. corymack  |  June 5th, 2006 at 1:55 pm

  from this list, it looks like you’re very in…happy birthday Jenn

  What’s Out What’s In

  Tricked-out SUVs Car you’ve had for seven years
  Swimming pools Gardens
  Skiing and sailing Cooking and reading
  Label-conscious luxuries Information-centric tools
  Reservations at Nobu Dinner parties at home
  VIP tickets/ opening nights Watching your kids play sports
  Charity benefits Volunteering
  CXO titles Self-employment
  CEO perks A home office
  The Joneses The Influentials
  Bling bling The cheap date

• 38. the Mater  |  June 5th, 2006 at 3:54 pm

  This is great - Jenn, here’s part of the article above:

  “The cost of living large has begun to take its toll: We are overspent, overfed, overtraveled, and overentertained. More people in the world know the meaning of Gucci, Vertu, and Lexus than know the meaning of life. Hence, the latest trend: spending less and living better.”

  You are SO in!

• 39. Lisa S.  |  June 5th, 2006 at 5:15 pm

  Jenn….you are so in….I seek you out and read you every day….I am drawn to you because you are so great and your life is so worth reading about. ! Your mater, mum, momma, mommy, mom is right. AND she got you a cranberry screen door….she ROCKS!

• 40. marian  |  June 5th, 2006 at 5:27 pm

  I won’t tell you how old I am, but I will tell you that the 36 clown is NOTHING compared to the 46 clown.

  And hey, I thought the Mater was going to pay for the girls’ college.

  Seriously, though, it WILL work out. You’ll always have what you need, and most times, way more than that.

• 41. geogirl  |  June 5th, 2006 at 6:34 pm

  Just promise us Jenn, that after you get your Cranberry storm door that you will remember all the little people….

• 42. the Mater  |  June 5th, 2006 at 8:09 pm

  “And hey, I thought the Mater was going to pay for the girls’ college.”

  The Mater is barely able to pay for the cranberry storm door :>)

  However, if the 60s really are the new 40s, then I have a good 20 years ahead for my polka band gigs and will start saving when I move to the Berkshires!

  I’m not too worried … with their parents’ genes, I’m betting on some scholarship money when the time comes.

• 43. ChristyD  |  June 5th, 2006 at 9:44 pm

  Oh! And a photo of the Cranberry storm door! A photo would be lovely!

  Happy birthday to you!

• 44. ozma  |  June 5th, 2006 at 10:47 pm

  Yeah. The never going to be rich thing has dawned on me a bit as well although I continue to live in denial. It’s so strange because I almost did the ‘right’ things (I got those good grades) to lead one to the middle class lifestyle but it all went horribly wrong at some point (the world does not pay you for good grades). My family line is just a big ol’ zigzag from rich to poor (I can trace this over four generations) and I caught things on the downslope. Now I just have to learn how to have no money because that’s actually a skill and so far I’m not too good at it.

  You know, it’s weird though because from here you seem beautiful and brilliant and funny and glamorous and thus destined for fame. It follows then (or is likely) that you should be rich, too. Maybe you can start with some blogads. I will click obsessively on them in order to enrich you by pennies a day. If we all did so, maybe we could show those tarot card readers what for.

  For scholarships, the best bet is athletics. Get that toddler to t-ball practice NOW.

• 45. pogonip  |  June 6th, 2006 at 5:20 am

  Once upon a time, I was 35 with two little kids and a husband who did consulting work in a field not his own. We had hand-me-down clothes and an old Datsun station wagon. For fun, we went to McFrugal’s where $2 could buy a lot of close-out items and saw movies at the drive-in with the boys in jammies eating a bag of homemade popcorn. We had enough for a roof over our heads and food on the table and not much else. And I look back and cherish that time. Our family was healthy and happy and our home full of love and laughter and toddler toys. Things change. We have a 401(k) now and money to spend, but more importantly we have two great kids and we both have jobs we enjoy and we have each other. So, hang in there and enjoy and let tomorrow take care of itself. You are both smart and fun and the universe will relent once it’s over its practical joke. I promise.

• 46. Rivetergirl  |  June 7th, 2006 at 3:37 pm

  I turned 36 June 2 and totally fell through that hole. The sinister clown gave me chocolate cake and then punched me in the gut when the realization that I’m on the downhill slide into 40 now.

  Oh well, it beats the alternative.

• 47. trisha  |  June 12th, 2006 at 10:52 pm

  Rubbish. I just turned 40 and I’ve never felt so alive, happy, exuberant….and I’ve never been carded so often for alcohol in my life.
  I love your blog, by the way. Great writing and pictures!

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