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It would make one helluva country song

May 31st, 2006

Sophie: Mommy, your breasts are flopping all around. You’ve got the floppiest breasts in town.

Entry Filed under: Uncategorized, Tattletales. (Mouths of babes)

28 Comments

  • 1. Simon  |  June 1st, 2006 at 12:59 am

    I am going to be muttering that to myself (in my best Alan Jackson) for at least a week. If I can somehow tie it in to “Chatahoochee” I may be on to something.

  • 2. Trish  |  June 1st, 2006 at 1:10 am

    Give me something that rhymes with “boobs” and “saggy like this melted marshmallow in my hot chocolate” and I’m sure I can come up with a little melody to go with some of my daughter’s unwelcome appraisals, too.

    (’cept I’ll be singin’ the blues)

  • 3. VenturaMom  |  June 1st, 2006 at 1:33 am

    Mine said, “Your boobies are so long and pretty.” And that, folks, is why we don’t have any Barbies in our house.

  • 4. the Mater  |  June 1st, 2006 at 7:21 am

    Leave it to Simon to be the FIRST to post a comment :>)

    Hey gals, wait until you’re a grandma if you think gravity is bad now! Remind me never to let Sophie see me naked …

  • 5. Spot the Wonder Dog  |  June 1st, 2006 at 7:53 am

    Coming up next week:
    “Mommy, your butt is sooooo big! You’ve got the biggest, lumpiest butt I’ve ever seen!!!”

  • 6. geogirl  |  June 1st, 2006 at 9:16 am

    Clearly she has never seen those babies at work. Say, charming the guards of a certain chocolate fountain in London….

  • 7. Vikki  |  June 1st, 2006 at 9:30 am

    Oh…the brutal honesty. You gotta love kids - they keep you humble.

  • 8. Lisa S.  |  June 1st, 2006 at 9:34 am

    bwahahahahahahah that’s so funny…..I mean sorry…er um…..Connor told me I had big muscles and he was only referring to my big fat ugly arms that flap in the breeze! hahahahaha Oh kids!

  • 9. K~  |  June 1st, 2006 at 10:27 am

    Ouch! She’s brutal.

  • 10. Simon  |  June 1st, 2006 at 11:15 am

    Mater, I neither work nor associate much with my family at home; I simply hover over my keyboard, waiting for the next BeaW post so that I may pounce. Besides, I love boobies (both the word and, well…), so I certainly can’t NOT say something.

  • 11. samantha  |  June 1st, 2006 at 11:18 am

    Wow. What really cracks me up is the added “in town” part meaning she has been doing extensive research and you won out above all others.

    Kids are the BEST! Oh, and sorry about your boobies.

  • 12. Shellie  |  June 1st, 2006 at 11:26 am

    Mine have said things to relatives like Uncle Mike you have a big nose, Grandma you have a big bottom…Yikes!

  • 13. jaelithe  |  June 1st, 2006 at 11:59 am

    Ah, at the age of two, my fairly-recently-weaned son apparently still thinks my breasts are the most beautiful things in the world. As he still tries to grab them whenever he’s anxious or upset. In public.

  • 14. kelly  |  June 1st, 2006 at 12:05 pm

    oh, Maude, I’ll never let my toddler see my gravity damaged breasts again…I can only imagine the lyrics…

    “Do your boobs hang low?
    Do they wobble to-and-fro?
    can you tie them in a knot?
    Can you tie them in a bow?
    Do you throw them over your shoulder
    like a Continental soldier?
    Do your boobs…hang…low?”

  • 15. Loretta  |  June 1st, 2006 at 12:31 pm

    It must have been the ghost who said that, certainly not Sophie.

  • 16. geogirl  |  June 1st, 2006 at 12:44 pm

    My friend nate from grad school always tells the story of when he visited his sister and her young son. They went shopping and at one point she asked him to take his nephew to the bathroom. A few minutes later the nephew comes running out and yells loud enough for everyone in a 20 foot radius to here:

    “Mommy, you should see Uncle Nate. His’s is sooo BIG!!”

    He just LOVES telling that story. Go figure.

  • 17. Mir  |  June 1st, 2006 at 1:40 pm

    Oh. Dear. Good thing she’s cute, eh?

  • 18. charlie  |  June 1st, 2006 at 1:57 pm

    They have already got songs for those town champion ta-tas:

    “Friends in Low Places” Garth Brooks

    “Swingin” Cledus T Judd

    see….both country songs……..

    I have way too much time on my hands huh?

  • 19. mama_tulip  |  June 1st, 2006 at 3:28 pm

    It does have a catchy ring to it.

  • 20. the Mater  |  June 1st, 2006 at 9:11 pm

    Kelly, I’m ROTFLOL … and YES to all of the above :>)

  • 21. margalit  |  June 2nd, 2006 at 12:03 am

    Well, I happen to thinkit’s an improvement over “Do your boobs hang low, do they wabble to and fro, can you tie them in a knot, can you tie them in a bow, can you throw them over your shoulder like a European soldier, do your boobs hang low?” but then what do I know. I can tuck mine in the waist of my mom jeans.

  • 22. Suzanne  |  June 2nd, 2006 at 9:59 am

    …and then there was the first time a friend’s nephew went into the boy’s room at McDonald’s with his dad…

    He came running out, singing the wonders of the urinals he’d seen. When his poor mother ignored him in favour of getting her order for her family of 6 straight with the cashier, he realized lack of volume was the problem and started in again, louder.

    “and they had these COOL things to PEE in, MOMMY! COOL THINGS! AND THAT MAN… (pointing across the restaurant and the throng of waiting patrons)”… THAT MAN HAD THE BIGGEST PENIS!”

    This was years ago, and I still smile thinking about it.

    Bet he was proud, that man.

  • 23. the Mater  |  June 2nd, 2006 at 5:26 pm

    What is it about men and size?!

    Er, I should talk … here I am and several other “matrons” lamenting the state of our boobs.

  • 24. geogirl  |  June 2nd, 2006 at 7:00 pm

    Mater, it always about the Hoojack!

  • 25. the Mater  |  June 2nd, 2006 at 7:29 pm

    BTW, what’s the Canadian clever word for boobs?

    Froufies and hoojacks and I’m just wonderin’ … Jenn? David?! Simon?

  • 26. Jessica  |  June 2nd, 2006 at 10:54 pm

    Aha! I KNEW there was a good reason to have itty bitty boobies! At a 34A after two kids, they’ve really gone as far as they can go…..

  • 27. Pink Rocket  |  June 3rd, 2006 at 2:05 am

    I’m half dressed waiting for Jerrett to leave me alone for one second so I can take a shower when he says, “Mom! The buttons (nipples) on your chi-chi’s! They’re like bouncy balls!” Um…ooo-k

  • 28. carrien  |  June 5th, 2006 at 11:59 am

    MY four year old started digging around inside my shirt one day asking me what was in there. This was they day after returning to my small hometown for my grandmother’s funeral I had decided to visit some of my teachers at my old high school. He did it in front of my former English/IB/philosphy teacher who just about busted a gut laughing about it. Not a scene I could have ever imagined playing out when I was actually in high school.

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