OH BOY THE LATEST IS A DOOZIE BUT JENN WILL HAVE TO TELL YOU HERSELF!
May 27th, 2006
I am on the phone with my mother, The Mater. She is getting impatient.
“I keep waiting for you to post more about your ghost research,” she says pointedly. She has been leaving little nudgy comments here at the blog like “DON’T WORRY, THERE’S MORE TO JENN’S GHOST TALES BUT IT IS NOT MY STORY TO TELL!” and “WAIT TILL JENN TELLS YOU THE LATEST ABOUT HER GHOSTS BUT I DON’T WANT TO GIVE ANYTHING AWAY!” and “OH BOY THE LATEST IS A DOOZIE BUT JENN WILL HAVE TO TELL YOU HERSELF!”
“You should really stop telling everybody at my blog that I’m going to post more about the ghosts,” I say.
“Why?”
“Because I don’t know if they want to hear about it.”
“Of course they want to hear about it. Everyone is leaving comments asking to hear more about the ghosts!”
“YOU are leaving comments asking to hear more about the ghosts. I think there were, like, two other people besides you who asked about the ghosts.”
She hmmphs. “There were more than TWO people, but okaaaay.”
I sigh. “Traffic took a nosedive after I brought up the ghosts.”
Stunned silence. “Really?”
“Yes. It still hasn’t recovered. I just don’t think this is what people come here for.”
She is skeptical on the other end of the line. “Well, I still think it’s a great story. But okay.”
“I just don’t even know how to write about it. I feel sort of protective. Of our ghosts.”
“Protective.”
“I just mean…I don’t know if I should go on about them if people aren’t into it. I think they come here to feel better about their own parenting. I think they come here to feel wealthy and appreciate their own kitchens more.”
“Well. Do what you need to do. I’ll stop asking about it.” She is feeling a bit miffy.
I backpedal. “I’m just not sure…they’ll think I’ve completely lost it. Maybe I need a separate blog. An anonymous one.”
“I still say they want more,” she says.
“Today I had lunch with Mrs. Kitchen,” I tell her.
A pause. “You had lunch with her.”
“I set out a plate for her and put some garlic bread on it. And poured her a glass of water. And then I sat across the table from her and we had lunch. Well, maybe we had lunch. I’m not really sure. But my scalp started to do the tingling thing, so I think she was there.”
Horrified silence. “Oh, you can’t write that.”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
“They’ll think you’ve lost it.”
“That’s what I’m saying.”
Pause. “I’m worried about you. You fed her lunch.”
“That’s. What. I’m. Saying.”
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized, Boo! (Our resident ghosts)
81 Comments
1. Jenny | May 27th, 2006 at 10:43 am
For what it’s worth, I’m pro-ghost. I wish I had some….
2. Another Jen | May 27th, 2006 at 10:47 am
Awesome. I love that you had lunch with her.
Of course, I’m not sure I would have done the same… but still.I love that YOU could do it. Hee!
3. Pink Rocket | May 27th, 2006 at 11:02 am
i’m all for the ghost stories but i come back just because your hilarious!
4. MoMMY | May 27th, 2006 at 11:10 am
I’m all for the ghosts. Bring on the ghosts! Oh, and I too love that you had lunch with Mrs. Kitchen.
5. Erin | May 27th, 2006 at 11:12 am
I’m pro-ghost! More ghosts please! I will still come back, ghosts or no ghosts! But I like those ghosts. The house my parents lived in for ten years had one!
6. Jade | May 27th, 2006 at 11:12 am
yes more, please!
Lunch with Mrs. Kitchen…cool
I come to read all the stories you tell and not because they make me think I’m better but because they let me know I’m the same.
Happy belated Blog-versary
7. Kirsten #2 | May 27th, 2006 at 11:27 am
I am not a ghost person, necessarily, but I am curious about how the story plays out. Especially since I had a hand in looking at the census records!
Heck, we come here for the cute kiddie stories and the froofyhoohahs and whatnot - but we stay for the giggles. That’s the truth.
8. geogirl | May 27th, 2006 at 11:36 am
I’d be more worried about the fact that you fed her garlic toast. I mean…really, is that the most appropriate food to start a friendship with? All that bad breath and everything.
Look, if I didn’t leave after all the dog poop and vomit and slightly naughty mother’s day presant stories, I’m sure not going to leave because of some ghost talk. Whatever the hell you write about Jenn turns out gold.
Case in point. A simple, ordinary conversation between a girl and her mother and I am rolling on the floor with laughter.
9. the Mater | May 27th, 2006 at 11:37 am
See?! More than two :>)
The lunch date with Mrs. Kitchen and your tingling scalp still has me a bit unnerved but you can’t deny the research findings and the rest of the story. Hint, hint ….
Incorrigible. I know. But I think you and Tree make quite a team.
10. Sarah | May 27th, 2006 at 11:41 am
I’m with the delightful Mater - we need more ghost gossip!
11. Michele | May 27th, 2006 at 11:51 am
Absolutely - more ghost stories! Though I love your tales of the world of the living just as much.
12. kelly | May 27th, 2006 at 11:58 am
I think it’s perfectly right and natural to feed Mrs. Kitchen lunch if you’re going to sit there and eat lunch in what probably still feels to her is her kitchen.
Gawd. What a terrible sentence! Sorry!
I haven’t commented that I want more ghost, but everytime I check back, I’m hoping there’s a little more ghost. I miss living in a house with ghosts. It’s been many years, and I live vicariously through you. Also, I come to your site so I can feel worse about my parenting and want to take a torch to my kitchen.
I’m just saying.
13. mama_tulip | May 27th, 2006 at 1:24 pm
Bring on the garlic-bread eating, water drinking ghosts!
(Maybe she didn’t eat the garlic bread because it was *garlic* bread. Isn’t garlic supposed to repel ghosts? Or is that vampires? LOL!)
14. Coley | May 27th, 2006 at 2:02 pm
Oh this is so “The Mater” I was laughing out loud. Your so funny Jenn and your mum is such a sport!!
15. jaelithe | May 27th, 2006 at 2:30 pm
I don’t mind the ghosts.
16. Bethany | May 27th, 2006 at 2:32 pm
Yes, bring on the ghosts! I want to hear more.
17. Lou | May 27th, 2006 at 3:53 pm
My vote is for more ghost stuff!!!
18. Spot the Wonder Dog | May 27th, 2006 at 4:01 pm
but but… the scary ghosts will frighten away all your readers!!! We demand more non-threatening posts about dollhouses, raspberries and precocious moppets. Give us our saccharine New England Americana!!
Hey, you really want to increase your readership? … make the ghosts evil! Or give one of the dogs rabies! Or make David a transvestite!
People go for the unusual stuff.
19. the Mater | May 27th, 2006 at 4:10 pm
Once again, Spot has risen to the occasion. Methinks you’re out-numbered though.
Personally, I thought everyone loves a good ghost story. :>)
20. Tree | May 27th, 2006 at 4:26 pm
SOMEBODY better finish the story! If you guys don’t, I will!
I’m just being respectful over here. But dang, the part…you know? The part about the…ugh. I can’t say it because I’ll ruin it. But you know? That part? That is seriously, like, some of my best work.
ps: I love whatever you write. You know that.
21. margalit | May 27th, 2006 at 5:10 pm
GHosts. Ghosts. More Ghosts. I can’t stand to be left hanging in the wind. I want to know who these ghosts are and why they’re still hanging around eating garlic toast with you.
22. KirstenAlso | May 27th, 2006 at 5:17 pm
I vote for more ghosts too, mostly because I’m interested in ghosts, but also because the evil ghost/rabid dog/tranny husband has been done before…if you really insist you can throw in some raspberries and moppets, just like Steven King does, so the shocker is all the more creepy….
Scare away- you won’t scare ME away….
(or was it the rabid husband, evil dog, tranny ghost story I was thinking of….)
23. kirsty | May 27th, 2006 at 5:31 pm
Listen to the Mater…we want ghosts!
24. bee | May 27th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
Jenn, I’ve been waiting so politely (VERY unlike me) for more ghost stories. I totally don’t think you’ve lost it—(I had an oval patch of what I think was energy on my scalp when I was trying to be open…) and really I think I’ve been totally admirable for not demanding more, but really, really, I want so much to hear the rest of the ghost story and the continuing ones, that I will give you full permission to e-mail me and tell me all. Really. Can I ask Tree if you won’t tell? Dag, this font it is totally small, eh?! /Wholeheartedly supportively, bee
PS PLS forgive spelling errors, thanks!
25. joycelyn | May 27th, 2006 at 7:31 pm
this is your site…write what you like. I, for one, like whatever you write. I’m not really a ghost in my own house person, but I am very interested in the ones hanging out across the country in your house.
Plus you make me laugh every time I read what you write, who could ask for more?
JWW
26. Dawn | May 27th, 2006 at 8:52 pm
If you fed me, I would linger about your house and Pretend I was a ghost…
27. Margaret | May 27th, 2006 at 9:06 pm
I’m all about the ghost stories. Besides, you should always listen to your mother!
28. Lisa S | May 27th, 2006 at 9:15 pm
Oh Miss Jenn!
I secretly wait for you to breath one thought outloud about your houseguests. aka ghosts. I am picturing you at the table—across from you is the other chair, the plate, the garlic toast the glass of water. You are chewing and looking right at where Mrs. Kitchen’s head would be if you could see her and yes indeed….you feel her instead.
Oy Vey
Can I come over?
29. Nancy | May 27th, 2006 at 9:36 pm
I get the goosebumps whenever I read about the ghosts. I think that means I like them. But I’m a little freaked out, wondering if there’s ghosts here in my place….
30. Contrary | May 27th, 2006 at 9:53 pm
Oh good. I’ve been trying not to whine bout the lack of ghostage, what with it being your blog and all, but I think we have a consensus here. WE WANT TO HEAR THE REST!
Please. And Thank you.
31. the Mater | May 27th, 2006 at 10:17 pm
Definitely much more than two …
hehehehehe
32. Mir | May 27th, 2006 at 10:19 pm
See, every time MY scalp gets tingly? It’s usually just a moth in my hair. I much prefer your ghost stories.
33. Jessica | May 27th, 2006 at 10:45 pm
You can be assured that I am not the reason you think you hear crickets chirping in your blog traffic since the ghosts. I’ve been checking in religiously since their first appearance, hoping to read more about your houseguests (not that I don’t check in that frequently anyway!)
34. Tina R. | May 27th, 2006 at 11:17 pm
I get tingly scalp with ghosts, too!
Ghosts are great! MY SCALP IS TINGLING NOW!
You talk about anything you want, but ghosts make for sweet, sweet entries.
35. samantha | May 28th, 2006 at 12:37 am
so, i’m a very sporatic reader but i really come back to hear about the ghosts. bring ‘em back and you’ll keep me.
how’s that?
no really, i’m not demanding anything, i just thought the threat of myself might do something. sadly, it doesn’t carry a lot of pull.
starting over. . .write what you like. it’s your blog, we love your writing. but don’t NOT write because of what you think your readers expect/want. in the same vein, don’t write just because we want you to. do what you feel is best. we’ll all support you either way.
or we’ll haunt you.
36. VenturaMom | May 28th, 2006 at 1:31 am
More ghosty goodness!!! Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeeease. Listen to your mother.
37. Blue Fairy | May 28th, 2006 at 3:01 am
bring on the ghosts!!!!!
38. Kim | May 28th, 2006 at 9:45 am
For what it’s worth, I’ve been dying to hear the end of the story. I think it’s charming that you set out bread for Mrs. Kitchen.
39. TreeBob | May 28th, 2006 at 11:57 am
I think I know most of the story from pieces told by you and Tree but it is all jumbled up in my brain. I need someone to write about it now!
I love reading your blog regardless of the subject matter.I think maybe you and tree should co-write a book on the “Ghosts of North Adams”. What do you think??
I hope you are fully recovered!
See ya later
40. Deb | May 28th, 2006 at 12:05 pm
Jenn, Listen to your Mother!
I will come and see what you write whether it is about toilets overflowing or plays or exceptionally brilliant children OR GHOSTS.
I love the ghosts to millions of tiny pieces and am DYING to know the whole story.
Weird about your traffic thingy…..I am still learning how to read those things. All those people who don’t comment anyway…..harumph….
41. the Mater | May 28th, 2006 at 12:08 pm
” … I think maybe you and tree should co-write a book on the ‘Ghosts of North Adams’ ”.
Jim, I have a friend who thinks the same thing!
Oops, there I go again! Sorry, Jenn. I’m putting myself in timeout.
42. Lisa | May 28th, 2006 at 12:09 pm
More ghosts, please!
43. the Mater | May 28th, 2006 at 12:11 pm
Deb, isn’t it the pits?! All those lurkers … “they don’t write; they don’t call” … blogsters crave comments :>) Please feed us!
Okay, I’m going back to timeout.
44. another anna | May 28th, 2006 at 1:02 pm
Another vote for more ghosty content over here. We’re about to move into an old house, and thanks to you and Tree, I’m not filled with dread and creeps about the possibility of spectral roommates. Instead, I’m neutral-to-positive about it. Hey, I can make garlic bread and grow squash—I could totally handle living with a couple ghosts.
I can’t wait to hear the rest of the story!
45. Kelly S. | May 28th, 2006 at 2:04 pm
When I first stumbled on the site, the ghosts were the blog of the day, and that’s how I got pulled in. I spent the evening being very creeped out (esp. after going over to that Google Maps link with the cemetary pics), and keep checking back for MORE GHOSTS.
Oh, and to feel better about my own parenting, too. J/k.
46. Mrs. Why | May 28th, 2006 at 3:22 pm
I have also been waiting for the ghostly denoument. The story is unfinished, and that’s just maddening.
47. sarah | May 28th, 2006 at 3:40 pm
we.want.ghost.stories.
48. s@bd | May 28th, 2006 at 4:59 pm
I couldn’t care less if you write about ghosts or god or goobers.
I am INSATIABLE when it comes to your writing. So FEED ME.
49. moxiemomma | May 28th, 2006 at 8:58 pm
*my* scalp is tingling now!
but seriously, i had to refrain from commenting about your not finishing up this ghost story when you commented chez oy about my silly, insignificant cliff hanger because oh. my. god. you visited me and commented and i so did not want to tick you off because i want the end of the ghost story already!
i think your scalp may have been tingling because mrs. kitchen may have wanted a more substantial lunch than garlic bread and water…i’m just sayin….
50. Mom101 | May 28th, 2006 at 9:47 pm
You have not lost it and I still want more about the ghosts.
51. ozma | May 28th, 2006 at 10:38 pm
Are you KIDDING? I totally come here to know more about the ghosts.
Moms know everything. It’s time we all came to terms with that fact.
52. fran | May 28th, 2006 at 11:09 pm
Eh… Ghosts-schmosts. I read because I like your writing. Thanks for sharing your life.
53. Eva | May 28th, 2006 at 11:10 pm
Wait…who sees dead people?
54. Susan | May 29th, 2006 at 7:01 am
If you write it, they will read…
! Ghosts, girls, hubby, kitchen re-model — whatever you decide to focus on, KEEP IT COMING! You make my morning coffee all the more enjoyable!!!
55. LuckyDad | May 29th, 2006 at 8:16 am
I can see I’m in the minority here, but the ghost stories don’t do anything for me.
56. Simon | May 29th, 2006 at 10:46 am
I guess there’s something to be said for the more tangible entertainment value of real-life parenting versus more ephemeral and skepticism-inducing sorts of ghost stories.
Me, I like me the ghost stories even though I’m very skeptical about those things. But then, I’d read the Jenny Mattern version of the Yellow Pages. Especially the full colour ads for cranberry storm doors.
57. the Mater | May 29th, 2006 at 11:00 am
“There lives more faith in honest doubt, believe me, than in half the creeds.” Alfred Lord Tennyson
“They understand but little who understand only what can be explained.” Marie Ebner-Eschenbach
“Yes, the stuff of ghosts is not everyone’s cup of tea, but it is the stuff of mystery. And, boy, do I love a good mystery.” the Mater
58. la Ketch | May 29th, 2006 at 4:28 pm
Just so you know, i never read your blog before the ghosts and now i check it every day for more ghost stuff. i don’t care about parenting. more ghosts please.
59. eLisha | May 29th, 2006 at 6:52 pm
I definately want to hear about the ghosts. Have there been anymore orbs?
60. ChristyD | May 29th, 2006 at 7:28 pm
Love the ghosts.. more please! And just so you know, I stop by because you make me laugh, and I’m so inspired by your life as an artist who is doing what she loves while also raising such a darling set of kiddos. Thanks for sharing with us!
61. nolamom | May 29th, 2006 at 9:12 pm
“bada bada, I ain’t afraid of no ghost.” “Who you gonna call, GHOSTBUSTERS” Sorry about that break into song, got that song stuck in my head with everyone mentioning the word ghost.
Please write more about ghosts, kids, cranberry storm doors, you, etc…..love it all.
62. Gina | May 30th, 2006 at 6:02 am
Yes, more ghosts, please! Or at least, lovely, respectful tales about your ghosts! I used to do “living history” where I lived alone in a island lighthouse so I could do tours for visitors during the day. We talked as if it was 1923 and the “keeper” etc was just around the corner. I had photos, etc of those long-dead people walking around the very rooms I was now living in, alone.
You better believe that I was ALWAYS respectful to those “ghosts” and they were always respectful back. They never showed themselves, but I always felt welcomed.
Keep being nice to Mrs. Kitchen and she’ll hopefully be nice to you!!
63. Kristen | May 30th, 2006 at 7:26 am
I’m one of the lurkers. I like the ghost story and certainly want to hear the rest of it, but it’s not the main reason I read this blog.
64. Sheri | May 30th, 2006 at 8:54 am
Jenn, I’ve been waiting patiently for more on the ghost stories - didn’t want to beg or nag but since you’re wondering - MORE GHOST STORY PLEASE!
65. elsimom | May 30th, 2006 at 8:58 am
We want ghosts! We want ghosts! We want ghosts!
Actually, it’s the ability to RESEARCH the ghosts that has me most intrigued, but their presence and your direct experiences are tood too.
Please finish the story - who are these people, and what happened to them.
About the garlic toast- do you think ghosts are bummed that they can’t eat anymore? Remember the bit with the apple in Pirates of the Caribbean? I don’t know, though, maybe they appreciate being thought of even if they can’t partake.
66. Kelli | May 30th, 2006 at 9:58 am
What’s the expression? Mother knows best?!
Now I’m really dying to know what happened!
67. anne | May 30th, 2006 at 10:14 am
Mom wins. Add me to the list of those wanting more ghost updates. I got to your site shortly beofre the ghost stories started and they definitely kept me coming back for more. I enjoy your other posts too, but the ghosts are just so charming and unique. The fact that they are happening to you in real life is so interesting. We want more!!
68. Amy (binkytown) | May 30th, 2006 at 10:18 am
Me too! Bring on the ghosts. You can’t make that stuff up- it’s brilliant. I look forward to it!
69. Robin | May 30th, 2006 at 10:31 am
You have to finish the story! I even told M**** to say hello to the ghosts for me the other night. She says she relayed my greetings.
70. Andrea S. | May 30th, 2006 at 10:52 am
I’m for reading more about the ghosts! It’s such a fascinating story that you write so well!
Please, please, please don’t write about what you think “we” might want to read about. This is YOUR blog. We are just the flies on the walls. Don’t censor yourself based on your traffic. I love your writing. I love reading your stories, your plays (the Disney Princesses one had me laughing for days) and about the antics of your family. But please don’t write based on what you think we’ll want. We just want to read your writing.
71. Gilly | May 30th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
I was actually just wondering about your ghosts this weekend! Please do tell us more.
72. jennifer | May 30th, 2006 at 1:17 pm
i come for the humor, but i’m diggin’ the ghosts. i’m want to know the rest of the story!
73. Barb | May 30th, 2006 at 6:55 pm
I can’t imagine 7 comments on my blog ( if I even had one!) SEVENTY -THREE , is that a record? So many fans!
74. the Mater | May 30th, 2006 at 8:03 pm
Sure, Barb, rub it in … I just eagerly checked my blog and found “7 comments”. I wrote about a ghostly vision but I guess it was too sad and serious a post. Jenn wasn’t the only one thinking about cemeteries this weekend.
It’s okay though … no competition. Besides, I KNOW what happens to some of the ghosts. I was gonna blog about my DIE-T … do you think the word “die” will draw a bigger crowd?
75. the Mater | May 30th, 2006 at 8:06 pm
And NOW we’re up to 75!!! Of course Jenn will remind us that 70 of these 75 posts were made by me :>)
Seriously, I think they’re great! (Jenn’s fans, not my posts.)
76. sogalitno | May 31st, 2006 at 12:12 pm
i will read ANYTHING you write.
anything.
77. charlie | June 1st, 2006 at 1:33 pm
I have Guiness Book of World records on the line….wants to know if you get the point already? More Ghosts!
78. The Homosexuals | June 1st, 2006 at 2:11 pm
Frankly, I’d love it if said blogger ‘fessed up some deep, dirty, scary secret–like she’d written for girlie magazines or something. But that would be really strange and I’m sure no one would ever believe it
79. karibou Ryan | June 2nd, 2006 at 2:08 pm
alright, I’m breaking my rule of silence to say, “rock on with the ghosty stories!!” ALL your stories are so entertaining…sometimes pee-in-my-pants funny, but the ghosty turn has kept me riveted, and I certainly would hate to think of you censoring yourself for the sake of your ratings, or however you call it for blogs. I’d say offering Mrs. Kitchen lunch was a very cordial thing to do.
there’s my 2 cents, and change.
80. beverly | June 5th, 2006 at 10:19 pm
I’m all for more ghost stories!
oh, and parenting stories, too.
81. jes | June 10th, 2006 at 8:38 pm
Seriously. You must write these stories. People come because of your writing, the content is just sort of a bonus.
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