Want to come see my play?
March 1st, 2006
Want to come see my play? I’ll give you a donut.
I can’t bear to think about the kitchen today, so I’ll bribe you with donuts to come see a new full-length play of mine, Like Home. Shameless plug. Shameless.
The play is set in Philadelphia (Fluffya, if you’re a native speaker), and if you come you will see
a father with a bad toe
a mother with a Judy Garland obsession
three sisters: one pregnant, one missing, and one who hates poetry
a lovesick Taco Bell assistant manager
a guy named Bob with a thing for strippers
shoebox dioramas of the Wizard of Oz
a dog who O.D.s on kidney medication
a love scene involving a broom and dustpan
a sex scene in which no one touches anyone else
colorful language
bizarre but strangely soothing dreams
a terrific soundtrack
and
origami
It’s going up at Main Street Stage in beautiful downtown North Adams, Massachusetts in April (opens April 28, runs through Mother’s Day weekend). The cast is extra-special-delicious (like the free donuts at the door), and even though there’s a really really mean theatre reviewer in town—who will not receive a free donut—I’m getting excited. Rehearsals are going really well, and the rewrites are working, so I thought I’d toss it out there. I know it’s kind of early to mention it, but if you’re in the area and might want to come, I thought I would gently inject the dates into your psyche so that when late April comes, you’ll be walking around mumbling, I know there’s something I’m supposed to do, and I can’t stop thinking about donuts.
Of course this does not apply to dear readers in, say, Juneau or London or Edmonton. But if you’re within driving range, please do consider the trip, because if the mean reviewer comes, it would be nice to have people in the audience ready to pounce on him and shove their free donuts in his ears and pour hot coffee down his pants.
There’s even a really nice place to stay in town, Porches, with king-sized beds and big clawfoot tubs and imported chocolate croissants. I worked the night shift there when we moved to the Berks, and I baked the croissants at 4AM, so I know the scoop.
I think I’m getting especially excited because there are naughty words in this play and my mother can’t get mad at me because it’s not really ME saying them, just my potty-mouthed characters.
If you’re in the region, and want to read more about the whole shebang, there’s even a big article in Berkshire Living magazine (Mar/Apr issue) about Main Street Stage and about the play. I don’t think the website has the article, but at least you know to grab the magazine if you see one lying on a train or in the gutter.
In addition to being kind and lovely and very good with his hands, my hubby David is also a mighty talented theatre director, and he’s directing the show! Which the Berkshire Living writer thought was funnyfunnyfunny:
My favorite part of the Berkshire Living article:
“…The two (playwright and director), having prematurely taken on that quality common to many long-married couples, actually look alike.”
So do please come see it, and we can all go out for a beer afterward at the Freightyard.
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized, Scribbles. (Writing & Art), Pretty flowers. (Berkshires)
54 Comments
1. karina | March 1st, 2006 at 11:31 am
I wouldn’t miss it! (Even if there were no donuts involved.)
2. the Mater | March 1st, 2006 at 11:56 am
“…The two (playwright and director), having prematurely taken on that quality common to many long-married couples, actually look alike.”
Oh dear God, when did you grow a beard?!
I’m thrilled that the magazines did some PR on you two! And I can’t wait to see the show … even with the strong language. I think I should be seated next to the snarky critic. Yeah, the Mater will take care of him.
Break a leg or whatever one breaks when playwriting and directing! Mazel tov to you both :>)
3. Spot the Wonder Dog | March 1st, 2006 at 12:27 pm
How about a plot synopsis?
Are you in the cast, btw?
4. Kirsten | March 1st, 2006 at 12:34 pm
You know what I think? Time for a ROAD TRIP!!! Who’s with me?
If only I weren’t on the opposite coast. Bummer.
5. Jenn | March 1st, 2006 at 12:39 pm
Okay! Plot points/various mentionables, above. Nope, not in the cast.
6. Simon | March 1st, 2006 at 1:08 pm
I betcha it’s not just Bob who has a thing for strippers. Most guys just aren’t willing to admit to it. And then take up origami to distract themselves. It’s a vicious circle.
7. the Mater | March 1st, 2006 at 1:11 pm
Kirsten and all of Jenn’s gentle readers, North Adams is nestled in the Berkshires … many fun things to do up there around that time of year. MassMoCA is a quirky contemporary-art museum in town - the famous Meryl Streep encounter took place there. Vermont is just a few miles north.
Hope to meet some of you and share a donut or two or a local brew. :>)
8. the Mater | March 1st, 2006 at 1:14 pm
And Porches was the scene of Jenn’s and my photoshoot in the clawfoot tub! You can enjoy the same amenities! Treat yourself. Let me know if you want me to take your picture.
9. 21stCenturyMom | March 1st, 2006 at 1:17 pm
Please let us know when it gets to San Francisco.
That means I will miss your play but congrats on getting it produced. Here’s to a round of well broken legs (metaphorically broken, that is!)
10. ChristyD | March 1st, 2006 at 2:13 pm
I SO wish I were closer to Mass, as I promise I would come to see the play. You’ve written such an intriguing description! Unfortunately it’s a very long drive from Texas. Let us know if you decide to sell copies of it for those of us who can’t make it.
11. Erin | March 1st, 2006 at 2:13 pm
Man, I would love to come see it. Sigh. I’ll be in Vancouver.
I think that we should start some kind of organized crime ring that hunts down mean reviewers everywhere and gives ‘em the coffee on pants/donuts in ears treatment. Anyone? Bueller?
12. stef | March 1st, 2006 at 2:39 pm
Jenn,
I’ve been lurking your site for a while now- and I never realized you were a playwright! I really love the writing on your blog (funny, touching, distrubing, outragous, etc.), and can only imagine how that translates to the stage and screen.
My husband and I also do some theatrics…uh, ok….so it’s naughty puppet shows. (If I have piqued your curiosity- you can chek the url) We are based in Chicago, but we may be in NYC around the time your show nears it closing. (re:said naught puppet shows). If I can arrange a babysitter long enough- I will definitely be making an effort to swing your way whilst we are eastward. You had me at “free doughuts”….
13. kelly | March 1st, 2006 at 3:03 pm
Methinks I will have to change my plans to come home to MA for a week from March to May. Donuts and beer. My two favorite food groups.
14. w.o.p.d. | March 1st, 2006 at 3:27 pm
Somebody smuggle in a camcorder so I can see it! And, for what its worth, I don’t think you look alike. People always say dogs look like their owners when the owners hair color matches the dog’s fur. I guess David’s fur does match your hair and vice versa.
15. Simon | March 1st, 2006 at 3:34 pm
Erin:
The end of your comment should totally read:
“Anyone? Crueller?”
Love,
Simon
(the comment Nazi)
16. the Mater | March 1st, 2006 at 3:41 pm
Omigod, please don’t tell me this is about to escalate into the infamous Krispy Kremes versus Dunkin’ Donuts debate!
Jenn, if you play your cards right, you hand out a paint brush along with the donut and your whole kitchen will be finished in no time :>)
17. Rachel | March 1st, 2006 at 4:13 pm
Wouldn’t miss it! I’m not sure we can come opening weekend, but we will definitely come and see it, and we’d love to have a pint with you afterwards.
18. JenfromBoston | March 1st, 2006 at 4:14 pm
Donuts & Beer? If Homer Simpson in town, I’m sure he’ll show too.
Think of the press that would get.
I think I just might get to see this. cool.
19. Contrary | March 1st, 2006 at 4:31 pm
Ok, so I need it to be a big hit so that it’ll have to come back by popular demand in the first part of June when I’ll actually be coming through there on our way to New Hampshire.
So, everyone who is less than 2000 miles away, go see it! Three or four times. For me. Is that too much to ask?
I didn’t think so either.
P.S. Southern Maid donuts make both KK and DD look like glazed dog poo. It’s pretty much the only reason to visit certain parts of Texas.
20. Kate the Bell Witch | March 1st, 2006 at 5:04 pm
Woo-hoo! Play by funny lady and doughnuts!
Does the non-sex sex scene actually involve the origami? Inquiring minds want to know.
21. Lisa | March 1st, 2006 at 5:58 pm
How exciting (clapping my hands!) I wish I could be there! I NEED to come and see you. I’ve decided this is on my “things to do before I die” list (aren’t you the lucky one) is to meet and spend time with Jenn/girls/mom (sorry David). I’m so excited for you. You have every right to be shameless right now! I would be!
Yay for you!
22. Mom101 | March 1st, 2006 at 6:58 pm
I just may go see it! I love the Berkshires and a friend owes me an invite to her fancypants restored farmhouse in N Adams.
23. Samantha Otto | March 1st, 2006 at 7:11 pm
Officially the first comment I’ve ever left on a blog…you should be so proud!! This sounds like the perfect pre-finals crazy roadtrip for my husband and I. I’ve been trying to get him up to New England since this June when I took a roadtrip to Vermont. (I have a picture of myself with that Bennington moose wearing the overalls that was taken on the drive home!) My only question is this…where is the nearest L.A. Burdick’s?
24. Kim | March 1st, 2006 at 7:47 pm
Aw, jeez, you had to go and remind me of the Freightyard. I get an ache, right THERE (in the post-baby fat masquerading as a beer gut) when you say things that make me want to move back to the Berkshires. It hurts, in a good way.
25. ozma | March 1st, 2006 at 9:59 pm
That is serioulsy tempting! Maybe…maybe I will!
26. Sami Zahringer | March 1st, 2006 at 10:29 pm
Jenn! I really wish i could get to go and see this. I’m going back to Scotland for a wedding the weekend of April 22nd but if there’s any way I can travel the following weekend, which I’m sorta doubting at this point, I will try and make it. I know you’ve had experience of this before, but what is it like to see your work being performed by actors on a stage?
Golly, girl - well done, you! That’s amazing and I really hope I can see it somehow. Wishing you the very best of luck with it all,
Sami
27. Spot the Wonder Dog | March 1st, 2006 at 11:50 pm
“a love scene involving a broom and dustpan”
-Oh honey! It’s the best Valentine’s Day present ever!
“a sex scene in which no one touches anyone else”
-Group masturbation is a topic widely neglected by the mainstream theatre. I knew you were cutting edge. Although, I suppose you could be talking about phone sex or cyber, though that might earn you an “adults only” rating. The stage depiction of cyber might be a little boring, too.
*Curtain opens*
We see two overweight middle-aged males sitting at keyboards on opposite sides of the stage. They are typing…
28. Kirsten | March 2nd, 2006 at 12:36 am
Ah, Mater, I know the Berkshires well, having gone to college just down the road from North Adams. My husband keeps saying he wants to buy land in Vermont, but for now we’re stuck in California. I dream of the day I’ll get to move back to New England and maybe be lucky enough to meet the famous Jenn Mattern (Famous Playwright and Blogger) someday.
29. Sara | March 2nd, 2006 at 3:24 am
Darnit, I make my move back to the East Coast about two months too late to see it.
As a former theatre geek and a GIANT fan of your writing, I would love love LOVE to see your show. Well, I guess I’ll just have to wait and catch it on Broadway. 
30. Em | March 2nd, 2006 at 7:14 am
Oh, I wish I wasn’t in London: then I could come and claim my donut. NO! - I mean, come and see your play….. I love plays and I’m a really *nice* reviewer and I’d poke your mean reviewer with my pencil all the way through. But, I am in London and I don’t think my employer would understand that I needed vacation to see a play
Break legs all round! It sounds super.
31. jennifer | March 2nd, 2006 at 9:14 am
CONGRATULATIONS! wait, how big of a deal is this? i mean, have you done it before? do i need to scream like it’s the first time? break legs, hooray!
i’m in baltimore, so i’ll start begging my husband for a vacation right now. as long as i don’t have to have my naked tub picture taken to be posted on anyone’s website…
32. Lisa | March 2nd, 2006 at 9:26 am
Oh Spot you are a funny funny wonder dog! I’m still laughing!
33. Patti | March 2nd, 2006 at 10:07 am
It sounds divine!!! And can I just say……”potty-mouth, potty-mouth…Jenn has such a potty-mouth!”…there…all better.
L’Chayim!
34. kt flynnie | March 2nd, 2006 at 10:10 am
i see the similarity between you and david looks wise…um you both have dark hair and glass? after that i’ve got nothing. :-p
35. K~ | March 2nd, 2006 at 11:11 am
So happy and excited for you!!!
If I lived closer, I would shove free donuts in every orface of this mean critic including his rear!!!
Due to hubby’s wk, We live in TX-
So I won’t be able to come either-
But I would also be interested in buying a copy
36. MacSpade | March 2nd, 2006 at 11:31 am
I have to say that Jenn’s play is one of the best plays I’ve read in a while. Tho’ I have to say I can’t wait for the re-write’s to end.
37. Teresa | March 2nd, 2006 at 1:07 pm
Bummer…I wish I were close enough to come. I will eat a donut in your honor though.
38. Blue Fairy | March 2nd, 2006 at 1:29 pm
i will be there in spirit. i know it wil be good.
39. mama_tulip | March 2nd, 2006 at 3:01 pm
You had me at a dog who O.D.s on kidney medication.
40. K. Laureen | March 2nd, 2006 at 3:34 pm
Please send a donut, a copy of the article and a signed script to :
me
at my address
down south
I haven’t gotten a care package in years!!!
41. anon | March 2nd, 2006 at 5:49 pm
Wasn’t there a movie where the actress pretended to have an origami in a restaurant? I couldn’t resist.
Sounds good, I’ll have to hit a friend for some extra good seats. Will you conversing with us lowly ticket holders after the show?
42. Mir | March 2nd, 2006 at 7:55 pm
Will you really have a beer with me afterwards? Because I might come. Not necessarily for the beer, but hey, if I’m THERE….
43. s@bd | March 2nd, 2006 at 9:34 pm
if i were in the area i would SO come. and i would bring thousands of my close personal friends.
somehow the (what? 8 hour?) drive is dampening my enthusiasm …
44. Geoff | March 2nd, 2006 at 11:05 pm
Alas, alas-just too far away! But I’m certain it will be witty and a big hit. Lots of people who love theatre have already learned the predilictions of some reviewers, and who to ignore. . .
45. margalit | March 3rd, 2006 at 1:01 am
Maybe I can get a ride from Mir. I’d kill to go, but I have no vehicle and there is no way I’m taking Peter Pan anywhere. Once was enough for me.
I’ll see if I can find someone to take us up there. The Boy and Girl love road trips. Maybe I can borrow a car or something. I’d love to go, and I LUB dunkin donuts more than anything!
46. bee | March 3rd, 2006 at 8:29 am
I want to see your play so much I could cry. But I can’t. I totally want to stay at the porchy place with the big clawfoot tubs and all that stuff. Even though I don’t like doughnuts, I’d still go, and then I’d Jenn-meet-Meryl-Streep you.
47. robin | March 3rd, 2006 at 8:44 am
i’m in! i’m in! been secretly longing to make your acquaintance (do you know i had to look up the spelling to that damn word? oh, how pathetic!), being that i’m just down the road in the happy valley. it’s like a finslippy crush, only closer! but now i feel like the girl who wants to befriend the popularity queen. how could you possibly single me out from all the adoring hoards? reminds me of your meryl streep post, only now you’re meryl streep…
48. the Mater | March 3rd, 2006 at 9:19 am
You guys are terrific! Please come if you can and don’t lurk. Jenn needs big warm hugs … it’s been a rough year. Cyberfriends unite :>)
I plan to get up for one of the weekends too. Who knows? Maybe Meryl is reading this right now and will decide to come and support a new, exciting playwright.
Hope to meet a few of you too after the show!
49. Jenn | March 3rd, 2006 at 12:23 pm
I’m pretty sure Meryl can’t make it, but it’s even more lovely to think that a few of you guys might come up. When it gets closer, let me know what night you might come (and don’t worry, I will provide more details as opening night draws near), and we can meet over by the donuts in the lobby and make name tags with foam stickers and pipe cleaners! I will be the slightly drunk one who’s afraid to enter the theatre.
50. Gilly | March 3rd, 2006 at 2:33 pm
I’d love to make it! I’m in Boston, not even that far. Now, what’s the closest T stop to the Berkshires? Hmmm, maybe I do need to learn to drive one of these years…
51. Ana | March 4th, 2006 at 2:47 pm
I’m going to miss free donuts! Noooooo! Damn my Left Coastliness
Seriously, I wish I could come see it. If your blog is this good your play will be fabulous. Good luck!!!
52. geogirl | March 6th, 2006 at 1:20 pm
So…if we stay at the hotel with the tub is your husband going to show up and take pictures of us??
53. the Mater | March 6th, 2006 at 3:26 pm
No, but I might! Just kidding, just kidding … please come :>)
54. Sheri | March 24th, 2006 at 3:15 pm
Wouldn’t miss it! And we don’t have to drive far either
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