The milkshake song and the borscht song
November 23rd, 2005
I’m rapping in the kitchen. I am awesome.
“My milkshake brings all the boys to the YARD! They’re like, it’s better than YOURS! Damn RIGHT it’s better than yours! I could teach you, but I’d have to CHARGE!”
I rock out. I shake my milkshake.
David glances at me briefly, then resumes putting away the clean knives and spoons and forks. “Did we ever find out what that song was about?”
“I told you. T. Tara said it was, you know, about how cool your moves are.”
I milkshake some more.
“I’m totally taking it on the road,” I say.
“Uh, yeah. Good luck with that.”
“What? I’m a bad-ass rapper. You don’t think I could take it on the road?”
“You’d definitely get a return ticket home.”
I shake my milkshake again. “You don’t recognize natural talent. Look at these moves.”
He doesn’t look up from his flatware sorting. “Yo, now introducing the Polish rapper from Philadelphia, Hug ‘Em Hips.”
“Hug ‘Em Hips? My rapper name would be Hug ‘Em Hips?”
“Sure. I don’t know.”
“Hug ‘Em Hips.”
He’s rapping now. “My daddy brings all the kids to the yard. He’s like, one at a time, please, on the slide.”
We ask Sophie what she thinks the milkshake song is about.
“It’s about a girl sharing her milkshake, and she wants to help.”
“Why does she want to help?”
“Because it’s strawberry, and they only have vanilla.”
“This is a song that Daddy and Mommy have been trying to figure out for a long time,” I say. “Why do you think she says ‘I can teach you, but I’d have to charge?’”
This is so boring. Sophie says, “I think it means ‘I can teach you but you have to get in charge.’”
“Like a teacher.”
“Yeah.”
David says, “Ask her about Lucy in the sky with diamonds.”
“Okay,” I say. “Sophie, what is that song about? Any idea?”
“A fairy whose name is Lucy and she’s in the sky and there’s diamonds in the sky. Because someone’s throwing them up there.”
“How about Sargent Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band?”
Sophie sighs. Teee-deee-ous, these parents. “It about a boy who’s lonely and he has a band.”
Hattie wanders over.
“Hi, Hattie. Mommy’s going to interview you, okay? About a song.”
Hattie says, “Okay.”
“Do you know the milkshake song?”
“Yeah.”
“So—”
“So?” She waits.
“What’s your favorite part of the milkshake song?”
She thinks. “Mmmm mmm mmm mmm mmmmmm,” she hums. All the same note. She sounds like my brother when he tries to hum Chopsticks.
“Why do the boys come to the yard, do you think?”
“I don’t know,” says Hattie.
“Would you like a milkshake to come to your yard?”
“Yeah.” The interview will not appear in Vanity Fair.
Sophie returns when she realizes my focus has shifted to her sister. “Can I have an interview now?”
“Okay, if you had a milkshake song, what would the words be?”
“If you gave me a milkshake, I would like it but the only milkshake I like is raspberry so if you bring a vanilla one don’t come to my house.”
“And that’s the words you would have in your song?”
“Yeah.”
David starts rapping again. “My borscht comes down to the YARD. It says it’s redder than YOURS.”
Double act. Hug ‘Em Hips and Da Borscht Boy. Just imagine the backup dancers.
Entry Filed under: Uncategorized, Playdates. (Relationships), Tattletales. (Mouths of babes)
10 Comments
1. Spot the Wonder Dog | November 23rd, 2005 at 2:52 pm
I like big borscht, and I cannot lie,
you other brothers can’t deny…
when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
put a big bowl on your plate
you get SPRUNG…
…and so on and so forth…
2. Jen | November 23rd, 2005 at 10:13 pm
You know what’s really fun? When all of your friends are drunk, and it’s seven in the morning, and you’ve stayed up all night and are walking to a 24 hour diner, and the only things you say to each other are verses from the milkshake song.
Of course, I might have a lame definition of “fun,” but what can you do?
3. Paula | November 23rd, 2005 at 10:35 pm
Am I the only one who’s never heard of the milkshake song? (I thought you’d just made it up)
4. Mir | November 23rd, 2005 at 11:41 pm
Give it away give it away give it away now
Give it away give it away give it away now
Give it away give it away give it away now
You brought vanilla and I like raspberry!
(I wrote that for Sophie, having borrowed only… uhhh… 90% of the lyrics. But I do not have a cool rapper name like you and the Mr. Perhaps if she enjoys her song, Sophie will help me come up with a stage name.)
5. TRF | November 24th, 2005 at 12:22 am
Paula,
I also haven’t heard of the milkshake song. Some elucidation needed here, folks.
6. Jenn | November 24th, 2005 at 1:13 am
Dudes. Come on. It’s Kelis. Check out the underlined link above for a satisfyingly unsubtle music video experience. I particularly like the shot of the sizzling double eggs and the rising double buns. Oh, yeah, those buns too.
EXACTLY what I looked like in our kitchen.
7. John | November 24th, 2005 at 2:24 am
…and you mocked me not long ago for demanding more chocolate-covered you-know-whats! Now who’s shaking that milk? Ha!
So I TOTALLY didn’t get this until I followed the link. I thought we were talking about milkshakes. Now what I really want to know is: was there a literal milkshake in the kitchen… you know… ice cream, milk, maybe a little vanilla, put it in a blender… or were you just shaking it for David?
Sophie’s interpretation is so much more meaningful after you watch the video!
8. Paula | November 24th, 2005 at 8:50 pm
OK, now I have a very weird image of you shaking your milkshakes in your kitchen. I think I was better off clueless
9. JenfromBoston | November 24th, 2005 at 10:27 pm
I was just singing (read: butchering) the lyrics to this song for the past 2 hours. Weird how you posted this today.
And now, double bonus, not only do I have the REAL lyrics but also the story behind he song (as explained my Sophie).
Thank you!
10. Dawn | November 27th, 2005 at 10:37 pm
I downloaded Kelis for my ringtone for awhile. This way I could pretend to be a hip young woman whose milk shake might actually bring the boys to the yard, and not just my husband into the room with a concerned look and an offer to bring me Motrin.
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